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Oh, man, I almost screwed up!!!!

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Holy crap, so I almost messed up BIG TIME. Today is DH's 40th birthday, and I thought, since I got home earlier than him today, maybe I'd give him a "special present" by waiting for him wearing that special something (aka nothing) he likes. Only I forgot that today is Thursday, which is skid night. Luckily I lost track of time doing other things, so I didn't get the chance to slip into anything more comfortable. When SS13 came busting into the house, I was like, oh yeah... LOL!

Welp, the crap hit the fan

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DH got the skids' grades yesterday....terrible. D's and F's from both of them, and let me tell you, DH was PISSED!!!! It also totally exposed which of the skids is BM's favorite, because all she did was make excuses for SS11, and called SS13 a manipulative liar (she's right, but she forgot about the part where SS11 is a manipulative liar, too, and in fact, is maybe even worse than SS13). DH has HAD it. SS13 is starting high school next year, and according to him, it's gonna be a whole lot different in our house when we have them.

I can always tell when SS11 is in the house...

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...because the Costco-sized bag of popcorn we just bought is MIA. Where it might be is anyone's guess. My guess is the roof. It's the least logical place for it to be, so it's got to be there. I will not be climbing onto the roof to find out because I just had my hair done and I'm under stylist's orders not to sweat for the next 24 hours.

Know what defies the laws of physics by simultaneously sucking and blowing?

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Having the damn skids every time there's a 3-day weekend. Every time we have a holiday weekend, it happens to fall on a weekend we have them. Ugh! I'm actually opting to go to work on Monday for a few hours just so I can get out of the house, because I would rather be throwing out my back trying to teach a kid with Autism how to ride his two-wheeler bike than stay home so the ADHD twins can drive me completely up the wall. That is where I am mentally now.

Already ready to kill

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The bad part about not seeing the skids on the weekends for a month is that when they come back, I almost forget how much I can't stand having them in my house. Almost. Their job today is to clean the bathroom, which they have now both been stalling on doing for close to 2 hours now. SS11 informed us and SS13 that he would only be cleaning the inside of the toilet and nothing else. Too bad about 95% of the pee on the OUTSIDE of the toilet is his since he can't aim at all.

This should be interesting...

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Well, this weekend should be interesting. It's been about a month or so since the last time we had the skids on a weekend (which I have been LOVING), and this weekend, they're both in trouble because SS13 is failing American History and SS11 has been getting into fights at school, so they're both grounded from their technology. SS13 I don't think will be too hard to deal with in that aspect, but SS11 is ADDICTED to technology, as is DH, so I have a feeling he'll cave because they'll be brats and forget which house they are residing in because it's been so long since they've been here.

Rewarding mediocrity is totally fine

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So, we got SS's report cards in the mail, and no big surprise, their grades were not great. SS11 is probably one of the biggest underachievers in the known universe. He's SUPPOSED to be gifted/talented, but sure doesn't act like it since his grades do not reflect those of a g/t student's, and SS13 thoroughly enjoys pretending he's stupid to get attention, so his grades were not that great either.

SS13's mission in life

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I swear, I think SS13's main mission in life is to be the biggest jerk in the known universe, and probably parts of the unknown universe too. This kid goes out of his way to be such a gigantic ass, if it were an actual career option, he would be making seven figures and would be the best in the business. The biggest thing is I'm conviced he actually gets off on starting shit. He is the biggest tattle tale I've ever met in my entire life, and will actually bring stuff up off-topic just to get other people in trouble.

Not even into the weekend, and I'm already glad DH is giving me the best b-day gift of all...

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...which is that he will be getting a vasectomy in 13 days, so I will not have to worry about EVER becoming a parent and having to deal with this shit. Best birthday present of all time. At least for me.

Oh, SS13, what will you think of next?

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Yes, SS13 comes up with some real gems for attention. Apparently he thinks it makes him endearing or cute or something. Also he loves when people (BM and in-laws) throw him pity-parties. Munchausen Syndrome in-process. Tonight's fun was "Some people can use chopsticks to eat with, but I can barely use a fork. I mean, I start off right, and then I start holding it a different way, and people don't say anything, they just look at me weird." Really, SS13?

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