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Money Issues

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Submitted by allinall on Mon, 11/07/2011 - 1:22pm

My DH tries his best to be a great father. He, however is up against some obstacles with the BM. She is not a very involved parent and he tries to pick up the slack for all of the extracurricular activities with his son. However, we are experiencing some economic hardships and I suggested that he get a second job. His response was "who will be responsible for little league sports if I'm working in the evenings and on the weekends"? He had an opportunity to work and make some additional money this weekend, but declined because his son had a game.

Did I Do Something Wrong?????

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Submitted by allinall on Sun, 10/30/2011 - 1:05pm

Ok...so my husband and I married 3 weeks ago in another country. Some of our family and friends attended, but my SS8 did not. Anyway, SS keeps asking about the wedding, so I asked him if he wanted to see some pics. He said yes. However, my husbands's response was "aren't your working on the computer?" Now earlier, my husband did ask me to look something up for him, but I told him I was busy doing somehthing else. (The pics are on computer, I haven't printed them yet) After I showed him the pics, I asked DH if I had done something wrong...his response...

He doesn't like the term Baby Mama

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Submitted by allinall on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:23am

So recently I referred to my SS's mother as the baby mama to my husband. My husband got upset and said that he doesn't like that term and that I should only refer to her as SS's mother or by her name. Now normally I would respect someone's request of this nature. However, I asked him how come he wasn't bold enough to correct her in the same way when I was being referred to as "that bitch" "dumb-as girlfriend", "stupid-as girlfriend", "ugly-as girlfriend" and so forth by her. (Those are the only terms I've heard/seen via phone/text) I've NEVER heard him correct her like he did me.

This ex stepson thing is on my last nerve

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Submitted by allinall on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 4:51pm

Now, in the beginning, no one (DH and BM) thought it would be a good idea for ex SS to be around me. When SS and ex SS were at now DH's house, it wasn't a good idea for me to come over. When SS and ex SS would go places with DH it wasn't a good idea for me to attend. Now, since everyone ELSE (i.e.BM) is supposedly accepting of our relationship/marriage he just walks in my house and up my stairs regularly. I approached my husband about this and of course I look evil and "nasty" because I told them (SS and his exSS) to go back downstairs.

Bringing new baby into a step family

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Submitted by allinall on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 5:20pm

Hey, do you guys think that having a baby will bring a better dynamic into a stepfamily. I have a stepson and I'm recently married. From ya'lls experiences, does having a baby bring a husband and wife closer and solidy their family or does it cause more friction and make the DH feel guilty for living with the new baby to the point that he wants to overcompensate for the skid. I feel like having a baby will kind of solidify our family and help make me feel a little more important within our family structure.

Dealing with the EX STEP KID *Harsh language...read at your own risk*

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Submitted by allinall on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 11:09am

Thank you all for helping me with this issue. But something still isn't sitting well. In the beginning of our relationship (4-5 months in) I was open to my then boyfriend spending time with this child. However, once I invited him over when he was with both of them and he told me that he thought it wouldn't be a good idea since BM might have a problem with her kid being around me. Ok, well from then on, I never even considered or EVER wanted to be around that child. Well now, I guess since "she's" okay with it, I'm supposed to be okay with it now too.

DH's ex step kid

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Submitted by allinall on Tue, 10/18/2011 - 10:33pm

How do you all feel about children from a BM's previous relationship (not your DH's) visiting your home. BM has an older child by someone else (SS's half brother) that came to my house today. (first time in almost 5 years) My husband has included him in outings with his son in the past, but never brought him to our house. He stayed in the living room this time, but next time, I'm sure he'll want to visit other areas. Call me crazy, but I kind of feel like a friend of my enemy is visiting my home.

Newlywed Blues

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Submitted by allinall on Tue, 10/18/2011 - 5:07pm

My husband and I got married last week out of the country and did not take my SS 8 to the wedding. (It was DH's idea to get married out of the country and not pull his son out of school for the trip) While he did not go into great detail about it, BM was highly upset that SS was not included in the ceremony. In fact, while I know an argument probably occurred between them, DH refuses to talk to me about it. He simply gets agitated and changes the subject whenever I bring it up. Agggghhhh!!!!!

Selfish?

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Submitted by allinall on Sun, 09/25/2011 - 4:49pm

After 4 years of dating, in 2 weeks I will be married and become an official stepmom. The BM in my life is not a very good one. While we pay healthy child support and share custody (every other weekend and full summers), my husband also must independently handle responsibilites including being the only parent to deal with the schools and ALL of the handling of extracurricular transportation and fees. (daily transportation accross two counties I might add...with THESE gas prices) My problem is that I am ready to be married and start my own family. My fiance is reluctant.

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