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Money Issues

allinall's picture

My DH tries his best to be a great father. He, however is up against some obstacles with the BM. She is not a very involved parent and he tries to pick up the slack for all of the extracurricular activities with his son. However, we are experiencing some economic hardships and I suggested that he get a second job. His response was "who will be responsible for little league sports if I'm working in the evenings and on the weekends"? He had an opportunity to work and make some additional money this weekend, but declined because his son had a game. My thoughts are, perhaps you can find another parent whose child plays on the team to get him there. Even if that isn't the route he decides to take, I feel like he should be more aggressive about working more and a little less focused on activities right now for SS8. Don't get me wrong, it's important to support your children, but you've got to earn the money too. What do you all think about this?

Comments

CrystalRE's picture

I guess the devil is in the details in this situation. How often does he have his son? Do you and he both work full time? Is child support exchanged? Are their other children? I say that because:

DH and I get by financially but cannot afford to do much more than get by. BM is taking us back to court for child support even though we already support the kids the majority of the time. We cannot afford to pay her any more without one of us getting another job but I have resigned to the fact that I am the one that is going to have to get the second job to make ends meet if they change the child support order because if he does BM will just attach to that income too.

allinall's picture

Oh yes he pays CS and has joint physical custody. EOW, (unmandated days during the week too) and all summer. I have always worked 2 jobs.

Cocoa's picture

when "intact" families struggle financially, extracurriculars get cut and/or parents work a second job. why would it be any different when not only is that first family no longer intact, but there is MORE responsibility in the form of his marriage? sorry, my financial future would not suffer because of the child's own mother's slack.

CrystalRE's picture

VERY similar to our situation. We have the kids 60/40 (us 60) so we are already financially supporting them 60% of the time and BM still wants a CS order because she chose to quit a good job to stay home with her new husbands children.

I totally see where you are coming from and if you are already working two jobs you cant contribute any more. He is going to have to allow himself to rely on grandparents, friends, etc. to help out.