How much of our problems.....
are really a result of issues with the couple? I see so many people on here recommmending couples counseling, relationship therapy, etc. How many of us on here would actually benefit if our SO actually just took a PARENTING CLASS?? How many of the problems would disappear if our SO would actually PARENT their child(ren)? A lot of us say that everything is perfect except for problems with the SK's, parenting, guilt parenting......if the bioparents will actually raise their children to be respectful of adults, follow rules, and listen, how many of us would not even need to be in therapy??
Is it really the couple, or is it the BIOPARENT??
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Good point
We were in family counseling, then tried counseling between SD & myself. That didn't work because of SD's no shows. Finally, counselor told me to go to AlAnon classes to deal with SD's & DH's disfunctional relationship and SD's drama queen behavior. DH took offense at that but I went to AlAnon and still do. I finally had to learn that I couldn't "fix" them.
Although I don't think a parenting class would've helped my DH. He thinks he has to be SD's advocate because BM is so flaky and SD had such trauma in her life. If the SO would actually listen and learn - yes, the parenting class would be great. Glynne
How much of our problems?
You can only change yourself. You can spend all day, worrying about biological moms and biological dads - but you can't force them to change. You can only change the way you react to them and how you handle your children and stepchildren in your own home.
Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC
Shirley is a stepmom to 3 kids, and biological mom to 2 kids, ages 14-21. She is a counselor, coach and author. Shirley has a passion for helping blended families be strong and successful. http://www.blendedfamilyadvice.com/articlesandadvice
That's a very good point, and
I totally agree!!!!! But,you cant just tell your SO to get parenting classes....that's why I recommend counseling....it would just sound better coming from someone else! I do totally agree that there are very few people here that have many problems outside of the lack of parenting by SO and the bioparent!