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New baby with DH makes SD super clingy

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Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Wed, 02/02/2011 - 5:42pm

So, ever since I found out I was pregnant my SD (who, if you havent read any of my blogs, I have been withdrawn and detached from for quite some time because it was better for all involved) has been so clingy to me and will not let me cross through the hallway past her room or from one room to another without her latching onto me and talking incessantly about absolutely nothing just so shes talking. Has anyone else experienced this when having a new baby in a step relationship? I do not have any other kids of my own and DH only has SD7.

Well it's official...

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Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Wed, 11/10/2010 - 5:16pm

I am pregnant! I had my first ultrasound yesterday and I could see its little heartbeat. I have to admit that while I am insanely excited I am very worried about how things will work out with SD and DH and I with a new baby. SD is very self centered and narcistic. Although she has not physically injured another child at school or daycare in months so I am hopeful. At least DH and I have finally gotten on the same page about SD's discipline and a schedule. Wish me luck!

Finally he saw it!

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Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Thu, 11/04/2010 - 5:26pm

So we went out to dinner last night (something I hate doing because SD7 cannot use silverware properly and would rather throw a tantrum than eat what she ordered). SD ordered Mac&Cheese and was attempting to eat it with a spoon, getting it all over in the process. I said in a kind voice "do you think that might be easier with a fork?" and she looked at me, said nothing, and continued eating/making a mess with her spoon. I said nothing, but DH said "Hey 1sttimestepmom is speaking to you" and without looking up SD reached over, picked up her fork and kept eating.

Failure to disengage

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Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 5:43pm

So last night I broke down because it pained me to see SD struggling to breathe and eat at the same time (she has been sick for 2 days). I stopped eating to go get her some lavender oil to help clear her airway so she could finish her meal. Then I did some lymphatic massage on her so she could sleep (I am a trained massage and bodywork practicioner). As annoying as SD can be, and as much as I don't want to be involved I just could not stand by and watch a child, any child, struggling.

Holidays/Venting

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Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 6:57pm

Growing up in a household of alcoholics, the holidays have always been a very traumatic time for me. I feel guilty that I don't have the same love and excitement about them that DH does and he can't understand why I don't. He tried so hard last year to make it better for me, but it's just not in me. I don't know how I am going to handle this year. In the past I have spent the holiday season in counseling and tried to avoid family events. Now with a DH and SD7 its nearly impossible to stay away from it. DH listens to me when I talk about it but he thinks he can fix it and make it better.

Small Victory...let's see how it works

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Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Fri, 10/15/2010 - 6:39pm

Well I sat down and talked to DH this week and he agreed to a schedule so that I can be disengaged and both me and SD get enough of his time alone to be happy. He also began to understand why I need to be disengaged at this point. We had a very nice long talk without arguing (for one of the first times since we got SD full time in March) and I ended feeling very accomplished and with some hope. We start the new schedule on Monday. Wish me luck Smile

My first day here

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Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 7:14pm

Well it is my first day as a member of this site and I have to say reading the forums has been really comforting already. I don't think there is enough understanding or support out there for step-parents so this is a wonderful thing. I hope one day I will be able to be someone who can help other instead of the one in need but right now I am still trying to wrap my head around my new situation. I knew what I was getting into when I married my DH but I guess I didnt realize all the tiny day to day decisions we take for granted when we are only deciding for ourselves.