my girlfriend and her daughter (almost 5 yr old) have been living with me for about two years. her daughter and i are super close and i love her like she's my very own- but with that i think i've started to hurt my own feelings. 

her father has been in and out of rehab 4-5 times in these two yrs, and is not consistently in his daughters life. i have always spoken positively about him. she is extremely attached to him and favors him a great deal.likely from abandonment issues.

I've been having a really hard time with my bonus child 9 (more than usual lately).

--Little back story-- We are a blended family and I have been mom to my bonus child since day one of me being in her life. Her bio mom made some poor choices that caused my SO to get full custody. I stepped up because bonus child was almost 5 at the time and needed a mommy figure in her life. I have treated her like I have all my children. Bio mom is now in her life again (no custody atm, just virtual visits). We have a great relationship with bio mom.

Thank you. It may be odd to be the first words you read from a stranger who's blog just started; but I wanted to express my gratitude right away. For awhile I've needed an ear to bend about step parenting. At time of writing I am in my early 30s and a step mom of two teens. Perhaps it is the fact that they are teens I am screaming out, although I recall a few instances in their younger years I would have liked some guidance.  I'm here now though.