I've been having a really hard time with my bonus child 9 (more than usual lately).

--Little back story-- We are a blended family and I have been mom to my bonus child since day one of me being in her life. Her bio mom made some poor choices that caused my SO to get full custody. I stepped up because bonus child was almost 5 at the time and needed a mommy figure in her life. I have treated her like I have all my children. Bio mom is now in her life again (no custody atm, just virtual visits). We have a great relationship with bio mom.

Okay I met my husband a year and a half ago we got married on our one year anniversary of dating, he has two kids a 4yr old daughter and 6yr old son from previous relationship, I'm pregnant also and due in just a week. I feel like everything was fine before we got married in August, once we got married and my husbands ex found out I was pregnant it's like everything went down hill and now my husband had to get a lawyer and file motions for set schedules bc his ex won't let the kids come over most of the time and when they do my step son is an absolute monster.

Well, it happened. We knew it might. He was bound to have a child or two from his past wild behavior. Cut to last year, 6 kids in, and suddenly there's a new addition to the family. Surprise, it's a six foot tall 230 lbs uhh, 14 year old boy. We had talked about it several times. About how we would feel, how we would cope, how we would adjust... But life just happens, you know? I expected to be happy. And I was. I expected to be excited. And I was. What I did not expect was to feel an undeniably and deeply disturbing feeling of being an outsider in my own family.