SS14- im at my wits end, not normal behavior
I have a 5 yr old from a pervious relationship, and my husband has a 7 yr old from a previous marriage and the son who his mother has nothing to do with. Now my problem is my ss. I have been in these kids lives for 3 yrs, I went to all my ss teacher confrences, took him school shopping, took him to school, helped with homework, made sure he was happy. Well we were close in the beginning which I m sure that's how it is for everyone, but what happened was my husband didn't disapline him, he acted more as a friend and he felt bad for him cause he had no mom, cause his mo is a druggie and sleeps around. The mother hasn't seen him since he was like 6. I know he would have some issues, so I did what I could to make him happy and be there for him. Now I have done everything and the. Some fror this kid, but he's has had sexual issues, he was caught multiple times from around the ages of 6 to14 doing sexual stuff to the neigboor boys, to my husbands best friends son, to my step daughter when she was 4 and more recently showed his penis to my SD who is 7. My husband after all this has fought tooth and nail with me to get him help and he won't! I can't even look at my Ss, let alone want to have anything to do with him. I'm at my wits end....anyone else having this issue?? Oh and I know teenage sons have higenic issues but is peeing in bottles and leaving them in his roon, or vomiting in a cup and leaving in down in his room normal? I think not!!! Help
I have had SD14 since she was
I have had SD14 since she was 6. She moved in when she was 7. BM was a piece of shit so I took over. She has BAD personal hygeine too ans she is a girl! YUK! I have done everything right and she hates me for it. I'm everything her mom wasn't. Now she has been so bad to me for over 5 years that I have nothing left to give her. I am mortified that I have to live with her for 3.5 more years. She hates us and lets us know daily!!
I think you need to tell your
I think you need to tell your husband that the fight is over. If he cannot see that the boy has serious issues that he is acting out through his bodily functions including his penis then husband has a serious denial problem.
Tell him that in order to protect your bio children either the boy starts seeing a counselor immediately, one who specializes in sexual disorders in teenage boys or you will have to move out. Also unless the boy shows marked improvement in his activities once the counseling starts you may have to move out until he does show improvement. You see unfortunately his next step may be sexual penetration with his penis or those soda bottles in one or more bodily openings of your children.
Tell your husband you are not talking a about a divorce but just a separate household until the boy is squared away or ages out of the house upon graduation assuming he makes it that far. You may find it easier to hand write this out and hand it to him when the kids are in bed.
Your children will be better off in a one bedroom apartment if that's all you can afford as opposed to being exposed to this on a daily basis. If you really want to make a point take your children to your mothers or a friends for a overnight stay the day of this discussion. Then you go there leaving him to see what its like being in the house alone and you stay away until the boy is signed up for counseling.
PS: You can stop listing all
PS: You can stop listing all the things you've done for the boy he could care less. Children are pulled into this world - they didn't volunteer and until they're old enough to fend for themselves they're owed a minimal existance.
In any event step-parenting is one of the most thankless jobs in the world.
I would reach out to the
I would reach out to the nearest children's hospital for a complete evaluation with a psychiatrist, developmental pediatrician, psychologist, the works. The father is in denial and may be your pediatrician could have a talk with him and also give you a referral. Another option is to reach out to mobile crisis teams/county mental health system who could assess the situation and send social workers to work with the family and with the kid. He needs help. ASAP.