My husband and I have moved back to an area which he used to live with his daughter years before we met. He moved to the city as his now 17 yo daughter wanted to be closer to her friends, and she pretty much got everything she wanted before I was on the scene as he his whole life was devoted to her.

She threw a major tantrum when we first moved in together as it wasn't in the same neighbourhood as her friends, but she sort of got over it. He has her 50/50 and she has been treated like visting royalty since her parents divorced some ten years ago. She isn't expected to tidy up after herself or contribute to the household (i.e chores) in anyway at all, I've witnessed her having a go and her doting father for not folding her clothes properly when he was tidying up her room - you read that correctly!

So we are now expecting a child of our own, I have stopped working and we are down to 1 income. My husand's financial position isn't the best, there has been a downturn in business and he has a lot of credit card debt as he was the ultimate "disney daddy" before he handed his finances over to me to look after. His ex also took advantage of his generosity and happily let him pay for private school fees, haircuts, clothes, mobile phone, her private health insurance and the daughters (he also paid in full for a lot of medical costs because he couldn't claim as SD was on the mother's policy which he was paying!). My husband is at fault though, he has been much too blaze about money in the past.

Now his daughter is refusing to visit us at all in our new home as it's too far away for her. To be honest I am glad that the 50/50 shared care is over, it was way too much for me and his daughter would always chop and change the days to suit herself so there was not routine at all. It was constantly like having a guest outstay their welcome as most of the time she was sulking about something. So now she is refusing to visit us and has suggested that her and my husband have dinner in the city once a week together. He told her this isn't possible because of money reasons (we are going to have to pay a lot of maintenance now that her mother has her 100%) not to mention another $150.00 per week for school fees and other expenses & we are down to 1 income with another child due soon). I have also told my husband that it would be wrong for him to have his 'old life' and 'new life' completely separate, I expected his daughter to take some interest in her new sibling but that obviously won't be the case. So do you think my husband should give in to her demands or stand his ground on the basis that we can't afford him to take her out for dinner. I understand he would want to spend time with her but should he agree to it on her terms? Please note he told her it's not going to happen but I just wanted to hear other's opinions on this & it's also been good to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading.