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Am I wrong to feel like this

GillyWilly's picture

Submitted by GillyWilly on Sun, 09/16/2012 - 10:19pm

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General Discussion

My partner and his teen daughter who he has 50pc share of moved into my house a few months ago.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable about her spending the school holidays here, we both work so she will be left alone in the house. I don't have any basis for feeling uncomfortable, we have respect/manners issues but basically she is very nerdy and so are her friends, it's not like they will be smoking weed and trashing my home whilst we are work.

Is this unreasonable of me and can anyone offer any words to make me feel more comfortable please?

Also, I think I would still feel the same if we moved into another house as all my things would be there. I've lived alone for the last 6 years so this may have something to do with it.

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:49am

I think the best way would be to give her the benefit of the doubt for a few days. If it works out then great, if not then DH will need to make another arrangement...right?

lucky7's picture

Submitted by lucky7 on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 5:58am

I agree with giveitago. Lay out the rules very clearly and that way if they are broken, you are justified. Make your partner a part of this too so he doesn't feel you are picking on the daughter. From experience, I can say rule number 1 is to pick up after herself. Nothing is more frustrating for the both of you than working all day and having to come home to pick up after a child who sat at home all day. Also, no friends over while there are no adults home. Even if you don't foresee these being issues, I would lay them out from the start. Good luck!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 09/17/2012 - 7:38am

Lock up anything important you think she might snoop through. That was always one of my main concerns.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I never had kids (just younger sisters) so once I was on my own, I had complete privacy in my home. But I do know from having younger sisters what snoops teens can be!

We have never left my husband's daughter in our house alone and even now that she is 21, I wouldn't. So, yeah, I know how you feel. Again, I would protect anything she might find interesting to snoop through, like financials and such.