Thank goodness I have discovered this site - before I am driven mental... lol!

I am a single parent to two boys, aged 5 and 7. I met a lovely man fourteen months ago - who has 50 / 50 shared custody of 4 of his 5 children. The eldest boy is seventeen, and lives with him full-time.

We met shortly after his marriage ended, and his 17 year old son was pleased his father was once again happy. We (the son and I) got on well, often going grocery shopping together, or clothes shopping together - sometimes with my partner coming along too.

Seven months into our relationship, I broke my ankle. My partner wanted to look after me and my kids, while I recovered - as I could not do much at home - and was a danger to myself - between wheelchair, slippery floors, crutches - and trying to use the shower at my house - you get the idea! I reluctantly agreed to stay at his house - as I saw no other option - with no family to support me. I was on heavy painkillers at the time, which, unbeknownst to me at the time, made me very emotional and difficult to deal with. I ended up having a row with my lovely partner - which his son took exception to, telling me to 'shut up, and leave his dad alone'. He (the son)then stood up to me - and moved towards me in a menacing manner. I was scared - as he is no longer a boy - at six foot three! His father quickly ushered me to another room, where we sorted out our differences quickly.

The next day, my partner asked his son to apologise to me (for his threatening behaviour) - his son refused - and so the matter was left. Ever since then, his son has openly ignored me when I am in his presence. My partner appeared 'blind' to this - until I mentioned it to him. He spoke to his son (when I was not there) - saying that he had chosen me as a partner, and his son at least needed to treat me in a respectful manner - and with courtesy, and that if he could not manage that, then he would need to move back to his mother's house - with his siblings (which would be a nightmare for him!). I thought this would straighten things out, but it did not.

For the past several weeks I have not been to my partner's house - as I simply do not want to sit in a room feeling very uncomfortable, with someone who blatantly ignores me, and at best gives me a 'yes' or 'no' when I try to converse with him.

I really have tried to be patient, and do nice things with all my partner's kids - even making 12 dozen mini muffins the first weekend we were all together, which they wolfed down. Not even a thanks. Last Xmas I was desperately broke - with hardly enough money to last (I am a student) - and yet I went without things to buy each of his kids a small xmas present each. I did not even get ONE thank you. My partner's children do not say hello either when they come to my house, or when I am at theirs - although I have learned to live with this - as it would appear that their parents have not installed what I would deem 'good manners' into them. If I do not say 'hello, how are you'?, then I am simply ignored - although they are happy to talk to me, if I initiate conversation. My children I have raised to say 'hello' to people when they come to our house, to use 'please' and 'thank you', and to say 'goodbye' or 'thank you for having us', when they leave - and although my children do not always remember these simple rules, I make the effort to prompt them if they forget!

My partner although absolutely lovely, finds communication on matters such as these rather difficult. Last night we ended up having a discussion on the relationship between his son and me. He seemed to think that it was up to me to sort this out directly with his son, as he says he has tried, and it has not worked! I am due to go there this afternoon, and all three of us are going to sit down for a chat. My partner and I have agreed that we must not approach his son in a blaming manner - although, I really want to shout 'grow up! - we are all entitled to a mistake - I was on Tramadol at the time - I did not realise my behaviour was affected by the drugs - we all need to learn to get on!!!!!!'.

I really hope I can get through this - as his son is headstrong, and has a 'hold' over his father - who he winds around his little finger. I really hope he can see sense - I need to let him know that his father and I are very happy together, and that I only want the best for his father - and for us all to be happy. It is not easy for my partner, realising I am uncomfortable, and not knowing what to do about it - although I can see quite clearly what needs to be happening here!

Anyway, I had better get going, as they are waiting at their house for me, as I am typing this.

Thank you to those who read this - and any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated.