I’m at my wits end
So I haven't been on in a couple months I think lol. The backstory is my stepson has moved in with us because mommy couldn't handle him anymore. He was supposed to go to a five month military type school but he has refused and of course it voluntary so they ask him if he wants to be there. He has been caught with weed in his room, he was high as a kite for a few days and lied about where his debit card was. He doesn't know how to do basic chores such as loading the dishwasher and mopping the floor. He doesn't brush his teeth and we had to take him to get a ton of cavities fixed. He's failing at his alternative school and lost his job. Now his current problem is he has no money and his phone is broke, oh and he has no money for vapes. I'm so fed up beyond belief, I come home and I dread being here around him. He is supposed to be actively looking for a job and he did turn in one application but has never followed up and has no clue how to do an application online. He lays around after his 4 hour school day and is not on the computer filling out applications. We literally have to remind him over and over to do things. I'm at my wits end but we have given him an ultimatum which is he has until his birthday to get grades up and have a job. If not we will give him a 30 day notice to vacate the property. I have a feeling that's what's going to happen. We have tried every approach to make him understand and it's not registering. We have talked calm, we have yelled, we have had heart to hearts. We have said if he works hard we will help him with a car but it's not working. It's as if he's content and it gets me so angry. He has zero drive and will not push himself and honestly I'd love to kick his butt out now but my husband says we need to try at least until his birthday. It's hard for me to sit back and watch this. I feel anger towards him every day, is that wrong? I don't want to be mean but I'm sick of the laziness and the lack of drive he has.