Bedrooms?
My husband and I bought our house 3 years ago and it's a fairly small house with only 2 real bedrooms and 1 bathroom. The previous owners started a remodel project to turn the garage into a bedroom but it's not complete (really it's only missing a window and some better paint) and that has been our room. My stepkids (SS 16, SD 14) have always had their own rooms wherever we have lived, but they are spending less and less time with us now that they're teenagers (they live 4 hours away with their mom and prefer to be closer to their friends). I've been contemplating switching rooms with my SD because her room is larger, has a window, and is closer to the bathroom. My husband asked her a while back if she'd be open to switching but she said no. Should I give her the option, since she's not here that often? We have the supplies to finish the bedroom remodel but my husband is an OTR truck driver and not home very often so we haven't gotten around to it. Thoughts? I'm home by myself most of the time and I just want to be able to have a bedroom of my own that I can enjoy and sleep comfortably in!
Can you afford to have an
Can you afford to have an handyman install the window? You are living in a fire hazzard without that.
Other than that, I wouldn't consult a child about a decision in my home.
You and your husband live in
You and your husband live in the garage while his two kids who live there part time have the real bedrooms?!
It does sound crazy when I
It does sound crazy when I say it all out loud. But yes, that is our situation. We've always put the kids first in everything so it wasn't really even a conversation when we bought the house; the kids got the bedrooms. We also thought that since the garage-bedroom was on the other side of the house from the kids, we'd have more privacy and we could eventually add a bathroom and make it a nice suite. But here we are 3 years later and no progress. I'm ready for a real bedroom lol
It sounds crazy because it is
It sounds crazy because it is crazy. Even if they only stay 50/50, and it sounds like they are there less than that, that is nuts. You and your husband are the adults, the leaders, in your home. "Putting the kids first" means putting their *needs* first. I'm afraid to ask what other ways they are put first or what decisions they are allowed to make. The kids need parents and they need the parents to be leaders in the household. And you deserve to be allowed to sleep inside the house!!
I went through this with a
I went through this with a backyard landscaping project that has been dragging on for 3 years. Picture a pool with dirt all the way around and no patio, brush and crap everywhere. DH kept dragging his feet, everytime we went into the backyard, we argued. I finally got a bunch of quotes, selected a contractor and they will start work on it the end of this month. Yes, it's going to cost more, but it's happening.
smh
Put the kids first in everything. Sadly this none too rare situation is why so many subsequenct marriages fail. Kid centric adult relationships rarely have any substantial foundation and once the spawn are gone, the relationship is not far behind.
So, you and DH quit worshiping the children and start making the marriage and each other your unequivocal priority. Immediately implement standards of behavior and peformance for the kids and take the MB as yours. Kids can share.
You have got to be kidding -
You have got to be kidding - you sleep in the garage and a seldom-there SD gets first dibs on the best bedroom???????? Oh nooooooooo
Of course your SD is going to
Of course your SD is going to say no about giving up the nicest room, but why is it her choice?
My view is that unless the child is paying for the home in some way, their opinions are not the deciding factor.
Thank you all for the
Thank you all for the validation! To be clear, my garage bedroom is an actual room off of our dining room, only minus a window. I know it's a major fire hazard but the back door is close and I sleep with the bedroom door open cuz it freaks me out. The people who did the remodel of this house were a little weird. I wouldn't let anyone else sleep in there until we put in the window, but even after that it will need new drywall, new paint, new light fixtures, e.t.c. I feel like if we decided to switch rooms, I'd have more time to get the work done cuz SD wouldn't be here trying to live in the construction.
But anyway, I appreciate the thoughts. I don't have any biological kids so it's been an uphill battle of muddling through parenthood and keeping everyone happy for the past 8 years, often at my own expense.
Hire a contractor to get the
Hire a contractor to get the work done. Enough waiting. If you don't have the money, take out a loan
Make the switch. No
Make the switch. No permission needed from the teenager (who lives 4 hours away).
It's your house; it's not up
It's your house; it's not up to them at all, especially since they aren't there most of the time.
Pay someone to install a window
It has to be a fire escape window. Check your local code for window size and. Distance off the floor it has to be
The fact that your husband
The fact that your husband ASKED his child what she wanted over doing what is logical is ridiculous. His child doesn't need their own bedroom unless they are living with you full time. Move to the bedroom you want in the house that you pay for and get a pull out couch for the livingroom or remodel garage for when the princess decides to bless yall with her presence. Yall are putting too much power in the child and what she wants and she is dictating your house to the point of ignoring logic.