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Help with Child Shut Down

robjmor's picture

First time poster!

I am a step mom of a 5 year old. My fiance and I have only been together for 2 years, and he has a child with anoter woman. Him and the other woman were never in a relationship (i.e. never living together). My step-son's whole life he's been use to going with his Dad for various days/weeks at a time. My fiance works 3 weeks out of town, and 3 weeks home. We get his son during his 3 weeks home.

Regardless of how long we have his son, the 5 year old comepletely shuts down.. he will cry and cry, and then just stop. He willo not respond to anything - he complelety ignoes us, to the point he doesnt even make eye contact.

Now, give him a little bit, and he warms up and is a.o.k for the rest of the time with us, but this can go on for an entire day and it is painful and frustrating. We cannot console him - he doesn't even want us to touch him.

Any suggestions on how to make this less painful for all of us!

Thanks Smile

R

Survivingstephell's picture

You need a transition routine to help the little guy remember who's house he is at.  Keep it low key and low pressure.  Stay home opposed to going out  for a Disney dad treat. Let him get used to being there, acknowledging how hard the transition is and be his rock.  The life skill of resilience can come out of this if daddy doesn't coddle him but is a firm solid parent. IMO 

Rags's picture

When he is pulling his moody crap, stick him in a remote room alone and tell him when he is ready to behave he can come out.

Lather, rinse repeat.  However long it takes.

That gets him away from everyone else so at least they do not have to see and deal with his moody crap.

If he comes out of the room without having adjusted his attitude and behavior walk him back to the room and close the door.

Again... Lather, rinse, repeat.