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Girlfriends daughters are a nightmare

Nathan_East_PA's picture

Hi. I have been dating my GF for about 1-1/2 years now and we started talking about moving in together. Since these conversations, my GF's EX has started talking trash to them about their mother, which in turn has turned them against her. She has the custody, and every other weekend, he has visitation. It is getting worse and worse, if he disciplines them, spanking, reprimanding, etc., the girl's are OK. If my GF tries to reprimand them for doing something wrong, or not doing something they are told to do, they call their father and he calls the police claiming abuse. CPS has been there multiple times and have found nothing, but the DD's think they now do not have to listen to mom. It is ruining the relationship. Help!
Also, I cannot help with the kids, because they say, "I don't have to listen to you, because you are not my father". It pains me because my relationship with the girls used to be good.

Last In Line's picture

How old are these kids? Must been teens or close to it for dad to have that much influence over them when he only sees them EOW and thru calls. Perhaps they should go stay with him and your GF should be the EOW parent?

I agree with the other posters--leave. You are walking into a situation that is going to suck forever, the longer it goes on the worse it will be. The problems do NOT end when kids age out/move out, they just get more expensive and stressful.

Disneyfan's picture

Man, if you stick around with this woman, you're nuts. The father is calling CPS on the mother right now. What the heck you think he's going to do to you when you move in there?

This man has the abiltiy to destroy your life with one phone call. Run away from the HOUSE OF CRAZY as fast as you can. This will not turn out well.

Salems Lot's picture

If the skids and their bio dad are making false accusations against their mother simply because you and she are discussing moving in with each other, just think about what they can come up with about you after you move in with her........ :O

Think this one though very carefully!

momjeans's picture

Do NOT move in with your GF.

People like this high-conflict BD piss me off beyond belief, abusing the system. Meanwhile, other children are in DIRE need of CPS intervention.

With this baggage... she's not worth it.

Disillusioned's picture

My OSD used to be very disrespectful to BM, who she lived with primarily, and DH was EOW.

DH did nothing to stop that, encouraged it even. Every single evening the phone was ringing and BM and OSD were in a screaming match, with BM and OSD needing DH to referee

It was ridiculous

This was right before DH & I moved in together

I moved in, and one week to the day later, OSD moved in too.

BM decided she had had enough of OSD's disrespect, and if it was so much better at Dad and his girlfriend's home, then OSD could go live there

Well, it took about a year but it was a disaster for us!

After just over 2 years OSD moved back with BM, and it has never been the same with us and her since

Maybe the solution is that DH becomes the custodial parent, or at least 50/50...