Anyone here ever needed to call CPS on BM/BD?
SD is 2 1/2. I am not married to my bf yet, but the family dynamics are just about equivilent to if we were married. I have helped him raise her on his time since she was barely 1, we live together, and we plan for a future together.
BM admits that she is legitimately bipolar, and I believe her. Im not sure why my bf thought it was ever a good idea to be with her, but many of us have been with people in the past that we look back on and realize it was a time of settling and desperation. I know I have. Fortunately I never had a child with any of those men. He ended up getting BM preg after a couple months of dating, and the relationship didn't last long afterwards. BM is unreasonable most times, rude, dirty, and for lack of a better word; crazy.
BM lives in a dirty trailer with her mom, new husband, son from a previous relationship, and SD. From what we know, they rely heavily on government assistance and CS from both kids fathers. Step dad has little motivation to do anything other than work at a gas station and as a bus boy, and BM refuses to get a job because she claims she can't work since she's bipolar. Since she wasn't married to my bf ever, the state awarded BM custody and my BF every other weekend visitation.
SD comes to us from their house looking filthy most times looking like she hasn't been washed in a week. there is visible dirt all over her skin, her hair is stringy and sticky, and many times she has terrible and painful diaper rash. BM has told us that SD has "broken" her bedroom window with toys... what does this mean? she doesn't have glass in her bedroom window? Did they fix it? do they not watch her close enough allowing her to be able to do this? All 3 adults in the home are heavy smokers and SD comes to us smelling strongly of cigaretts. It is just not a good situation and my BF is saying that he is going to call CPS next time SD arrives filthy. I do not expect them to remove the kids unless they find bad neglect, but I definitely do agree that it would make us feel better and possibly wake BM up a little bit if she had a home visit. It will anger BM, but she already is rude to us about everything so whats the difference.
We have tried to be nice and supportive towards BM and her husband, but each time they only respond by ignoring our nice gestures and trash talking my BF on FB over false accuasations BM seems to make up in her head.
Has anyone else had to call CPS over suspected neglect of skid?
She won't understand or get a
She won't understand or get a wake up call. You'll just be starting a battle of CPS false claims. You really can't dictate what goes on in the other parent's home and that includes bathing routines, clothing options, them smoking inside/outside. The only thing CPS will do is check for food in the pantry, running water, and a bed for the child. Unless the kid is in endangered you won't get anywhere calling but more drama from BM and clan
Document every time she comes
Document every time she comes to the home this way, with pictures. Start a calendar where you make notes. If you live near, make offers to the bm for Dad to have extra parenting time (showing that you want to help make sure the child is properly bathed and cared for during the week). If she says no, document. If she says yes, then it shows a history of concern and caretaking that the judge will take into account. Just because something was ordered doesn't mean that the mom can't give more.
Thanks for the feedback. I am
Thanks for the feedback. I am already aware that it would cause more drama issues. I have been telling BF that it won't do much, but he keeps insisting that someone should go check it out because he is concerned. It won't be my decision if we call them or not, but since he keeps saying he is going to I wondered what other experiences have been. He does want full custody, but right now we cannot afford a lawyer. We are both brand new to this and don't know anything about custody battles or anything like that. We have been documenting for the most part so far, and those are some good suggestions that some of you have shared.
Oh yes. We called CPS on the
Oh yes. We called CPS on the Sperm Clan when SS would return home from Sperm Land visitation when he was 2-3yo smelling like a septic worker, with but rash so bad he had puss filled welts on his butt cheeks, diaper rash so bad his anus would bleed when we cleaned him up, half inch long finger and toe nails, and black sticky goo under his arms, in his crotch, the backs of his knees, and his hair so greasy it was no longer blonde.
Our problem was that Texas CPS could not do anything about since Sperm Land is in Oregon. We took it before out OR family law bottom 10%er of the legal profession Judge but he ignored the TX CPS report and medical reports from the kids Pediatrician and ruled that "Any child would be blessed to have the love and support of this family." I think Sperm GrandHag was sucking the honorable schlong to get that ruling.
So, we had our Texas attorney send them a flaming letter informing them that if there was any repeat of their neglectful crap that we would be moving venue to Texas and their CS would more than triple in conservative Texas courts and any neglectful crap from them could be prosecuted upon the Skids return home from visiting the toothless dipshits.
We also called CPS on my ILs when my SIL was 14 and their house needed to be condemned as a toxic waste dump. Yet again the idiots in the Oregon government ruled that "(SIL) is old enough to clean the home herself if it is that bad".
You have a good position considering that BM lives fairly close by. Call CPS each time the SKid shows up in the usual nasty condition from BM's.
Own her idiot ass. I would were I you or your DH.
I know this is an older post
I know this is an older post but I'm new to this site and have a similar scenario. DH and I are concerned about SD6's health and well being. She still wets the bed nightly and comes over with diaper rash complaining it hurts to use the bathroom because of it. We just took her to urgent care for her ongoing cough, the one BM insisted was due to allergies only to find out she has a sinus infection which would have gone untreated of left up to BM who hasn't taken her to the doctor since 2013 when she had her 4 yo well child exam. SD has never been to the dentist, despite having visible cavities. SD's teacher has even complained about her cough and the fact that she spends 10+ min in the bathroom.
Even though she's being medically neglected, not to mention emotionally, I'm hoping a judge will be more inclined to give us placement because CPS only seems to follow up on unfounded accusations.
we used the cps findings to
we used the cps findings to gain custody. cps was originally called for lack of running water and were told that bm was on drugs. they drug tested her and bingo! cps placed skid with us and we immediately went to court for custody.
I really could have called
I really could have called CPS a few times but we had already had legal proceedings regarding custody and CPS usually dismisses claims made during a custody dispute. They are right to do it too, usually its just people trying to score points.