Gaaaaa- why is everything "step-mother" does wrong!?
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My SD is in middle school, and horribly overscheduled. Band, Sports, Dance Classes twice a week, Youth Group,etc. And every time she wants to add YET ANOTHER activity, I have to be the evil step mother, and point out that she already barely has time to do her homework, eat, and sleep. And her biological mother tells her "your step-mother wont let you..." or other BS to make her (SD) hate me as much as possible.... All I want is for her to have time to complete her homework, eat a proper dinner, and go to bed at a reasonable time. Why does that make me the bad guy?
Probably the fact that you
Probably the fact that you are breathing, is wrong in the eyes of BM. Before the BM in my life had ever clapped eyes on me, she had managed to paint me as an evil witch in the eyes of her daughters.
You sound like you are parenting your SD in a very sensible fashion. Just carry on and ignore, as far as possible, the remarks made with the sole intention of making you sound like an inept parent.
Kes well said. My sentiments
Kes well said. My sentiments exactly.
duplicate post
duplicate post
I had the same issue. I
I had the same issue. I didn't care what blame they wanted to place on my shoulders. My SD would fall asleep if she sat still for more than a few minutes and it broke my heart. If BM wanted to overschedule her on her weeks, that was fine, but I put my foot down and gave that poor kid some rest when she was at our home.
One day, it was my fault that she couldn't do 2 activities that were scheduled at the same time on the same day. Why was it my fault? Because I was the only one who pointed it out to her.
The only way she will
The only way she will understand is if she sees her actual schedule
So make a weekly chart and block out sleep, eat and homework time. Then let Her put all her activities on it and when she says she wants to do something else, have hr show you where it could be scheduled.
You should probably also ask her to add "free time" on there. And explain it's the time she can use to see friends, go to the mall etc.
Stop pointing out the obvious
Stop pointing out the obvious to the two parents who biologically produced her and obviously aren't concerned with her physical well being or education.
It's probably too late for
It's probably too late for anyone to see my post (just joined), but YES: I highly agree with this advice by advice.only2! Good job pointing out the obvious!! Bravo!
Why is your husband allowing
Why is your husband allowing you to get thrown under the bus?
Why does BM know you don't think she should do more? did SD tell her or your DH?
Honestly, I think it's fine that you have an opinion and want what's best for the girl, but your husband needs to exclude your name from the conversation and take ownership with BM and his daughter that HE doesn't think she is ready for more activities since her current ones are barely getting done.
In your case, it sounds like
In your case, it sounds like you BM also wants to use you as the heavy, so she doesn't have to be the one saying no.