Emergency Contacts
I am not sure this exactly belongs here but everyone here is always very helpful...
so my EXH filled out our daughters summer daycare papers - this is the first time he has ever done this because he's never cared/been responsible for this before. So i let him do it because of course he should help! So he gives me the forms to turn in this week and tells me to look them over. so i look and he has his girlfriend of 6 months as the #1 emergency contact! ahead of my husband of 3 years. I mean... clearly this is ridiculous, right? not only are they only dating and only for 6 months, but she lives an hour away from where our daughter goes to school (and where me, my husband and my ExH live).
should I just change the papers and not tell him or change them and tell him (causing a fight im sure)?
earlier this week he told me they are getting very serious and that he is considering moving to where his GF lives - which like I said is an hour away. I have this terrible feeling he is trying to make a case for moving there and taking our daughter with him and enrolling her in schools there (they apparently have a bit better rating than the schools here but the schools here are considered great too!) so this is another little piece of evidence that hes trying to make a case... ughh!
thanks for any advice. i am sure I will calm down about this but im just shocked right now.
Do not turn that in. Redo
Do not turn that in.
Redo with you first, ex second. DH third, and add girlfriend fourth only if you want.
They are not married or even living together. She has not been around long. Only add her if you feel comfortable with her picking up the kids and taking them back to her home.
If you add her make a note to yourself to remove her if they break up. You do not want an ex girlfriend on the forms.
Keep the original form. It shows a remarkable level of lack of sense not to list either parent as the first contact. By filling it out the way he did he is saying to the facility to call the girlfriend before either of the parents.
My husband is totally
My husband is totally involved enough and he is also available most of the day as he doesnt go in to work until about 330pm. i just dont believe a girlfriend of 6 months who lives an hour away is someone who should be an emergency contact.
It's a tightrope walk with
It's a tightrope walk with divorced, contentious couples.
For my DS, me and my ExH are listed first/as parents. I enter my mom as the first emergency contact and then my husband. Why? Not because it would piss off my ExH, but because my mom is semi-retired, is easier to get a hold of, and is the logical next person in an emergency. My DH is always on calls or in a meeting and his schedule is less flexible even though he's closer than any of us during the day to my DS.
For my skids, BM is fine entering her boyfriend as a contact but not me. She is unhappy if DH is filling out forms and he even lists both me and the boyfriend. She pitched a fit the one year with a difficult form when we had to indicate relationships/who-was-who because it was unclear (DH and BM share the same last name still, DH and I don't...we wanted to make sure they called the right people). Why was that a problem? Because we did it in relation to DH who was listed first so BM was noted as the mom/ex. She was upset being listed as the ex. It wasn't meant to be mean or shitty, it was meant for clarification to the staff.
Thats not correct. I would
Thats not correct. I would copy and save that in a file for later use. You should always be number 1 or he should be. Then it goes who is local and family. If you have a husband he should be on there as well. But a girlfriend as number one contact who is an hour away.
I would change it and not tell him.