When it becomes uncomfortable talking about the Step kids...
I think a lot of people have an easy time to bring up obvious issues to their partners.
The problem that I have is being able to show him that I am not trying to attack his kids.
I am trying to run a house and family... not a three ring circus...which is what it has become due to
his coddling and lack of direction for the kids to go in.
I feel uncomfortable talking to him about how things are going... he makes it clear that he is worried
about causing waves for our adult kids... meanwhile, the mess and drama continues.
I just wish he could handle talking about anything without feeling the need to defend the kids.
I want to be able to feel like a part of things but I can't with a guy that is uncomfortable hearing it or
dealing with things. I don't think everything has to be perfect but talking about family members and sorting
things out should be a primary focus to me.
he makes it clear that he is
he makes it clear that he is worried about causing waves for our adult kids
What kind of waves is he afraid of causing? Because they are adults and need to start acting like it. His job as a parent is to get them off on their own, not live with you guys forever.
And while they do live with you, they should be respectful, they should be helping around the house, they should be working full time or in school, and they should not be all up in your business (aren't these the ones who ask what you buy?).
Has he taught them nothing at all?
I don't understand parents who feel the need to defend their kids and their bad behavior to the death. That has definitely changed over the years.
All of these kids are adults
All of these kids are adults right? If they're living in the home tell Daddy he is to start collecting rent and board from them per the local going rate. At least three hundred for a room. Tell him he can save the money and give it to them when they get married.
Generally faced with paying rent or renting a room and getting away from parents they'll opt for moving.
It its adult children who are away from home I'd ignore their antics and your husbands as well. Let him suffer alone which is not to say don't give him emotional support just don't get in the fray.