Wow, it sounds like you have a pattern of behavior here that is well established. I wonder why you have tolerated this situation for so long. He has no responsibility to your children but it sounds like he had none to his own, as well. This ingrained pattern is not likely to change, as I believe you are beginning to believe at this time.

Anger management is important. If he is being mean to you, yelling, controlling etc.etc., you are being abused by him and if your children are hearing and seeing him act like a maniac, they are being abused as well.

You have to leave an abusive situation as soon as possible before more damage is done. Stress has both long and short term effects on all parties involved.

Start working on an exit plan now, if not to protect yourself (which you should do too); do it for your innocent children!

Is he willing to get some help for his anger issues.... if not things won't change.. Change is hard for people even when they do want to change. Have you considered leaving? I would hate to see you continue to live in this type of situation....=(

"Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it"

You to listen to Sueu2 and honestly answer the questions she asked.

you knew he was this way and yet you married him?

The only option you have now is to divorce again, think of your kids, they deserve better, so do you.
Start immediately with the proceedings and do not fall for his begging to stay...

Further more, SF is right your kids are old enough to make their own meal, he's not their father thus he has no responsibility towards them, he's simply a SF.... and step parents are not there to pick up the slag from birth parents.
Your kids you responsibility...

You need to already be gone. Do not raise your kids 1 additional moment in this environment. Get out and stay single until you have them raised. Focus your attention on being a happy and peaceful family unit of 3. Please don't delay. Damage is being done to your kids the longer you stay. Good luck.

I think you skipped over the red flags and still married the loser. I think you know it was a mistake and you also know the only way to fix anything is to leave. I also think maybe your "type" might be lesser men that you try to fix when you need to A. Don't date until your kids are aged out, or B. Date a man who doesn't need to be "fixed" (i.e. Disney dad with his own kid, guy with addiction problems, guy with behavior problems). Your best bet would be to move out and live alone with your children. Divorce and date other people but don't move them in.

Have you thought about changing your schedule so you are at home to care for your kids.

I completely understand what you're feeling. But hon, here's the straight truth....

You are better off alone forever than to be chained to a belligerent asshole. You were vulnerable after your first abusive relationship and this guy sniffed you out like a predator. Narcissists and sociopaths have this weird radar that goes off when they see a new potential victim. They smell your heart ache, your low self esteem, and your vulnerability. You were ripe for the picking. They charm you, slowly start the cycle of abuse, and then it becomes an all out assault. What this man is doing to you is not your fault. But girl, you know this guy is not going to change. You can't fix this. You are not a trained professional. And the mental issues he has don't have a cure anyway. I'm sure he has already run this classic by you...

"Everyone else has given up on me and now you are too! Wah wah.... Nobody loves me. I'm going to kill myself!"

Do NOT buy this crap. It is a manipulation designed to rope you back in and make you feel guilty for wanting to leave. It is nothing original. Abusers love this particular attack because it works so well.
Girl, it's time to go. This guy is unstable and dangerous. You CANNOT fix this.

Leave him. Immediately.

You know what you have to do to protect yourself and your children. So do it!