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Why does everything have to be a fight??!!!

JanRebecca's picture

When we have SS8 for the weekend, usually DH picks him up on Friday and then BM gets him from our house on Sunday around 11am - that's what they agreed on in the beginning of this arrangement. Many times and I mean almost every weekend we have him - BM wants to change something about it - as in she wants to bring him on Friday and DH take him home on Sunday or she cant' come at 11 - she'll be an hour or two late - sometimes more. DH always says 'ok' .. ONE TIME and I say ONE TIME we ask her to do one thing to make something suite on our end. We are in the process of becoming members at our church, which includes a membership class to make sure we understand everything etc before being accepted as members. They do these classes twice  a year and always on the first weekend of the month which is when we have SS8, so we've never been able to become members - we've been going to this church for 4 years. This time I told DH to ask BM if she can bring him up on Friday and DH can take him home on Sunday am by 8am - hour drive each way so he would be back by 9am if he dropped him by 8am. Just enough time to get to church for the class. These classes are from 9am to 2pm. No childcare provided. He very nicely asked her this last night - we found out yesterday this was the weekend classes are - I told him to ask now - a cpl weeks in advance so she can't say we didnt' give enough notice, and he worded it very nicely, I proof read it. She wrote back this morning. '' I've never heard of a church function that did not provide childcare''  I told DH to let it alone - she just wants to start a fight. She can change things all the time but one time in 8 years we want too? And she makes it a fight.

 

I'm so angry I'm shaking. Please dear God help me. 

JanRebecca's picture

No

tankh21's picture

This is BM's way to control then. I am sorry that you are going through this. The CO really doesn't do much good until you file contempt charges any way. BM over here violates the CO on purpose.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

^Our BM has violated virtually EVERY portion of the Co she can... Nothing's done unless it goes to court...

hereiam's picture

If it were me, and I know people will disagree, but if she's going to be hard headed about it, I would forfeit the weekend visit.

And, he doesn't owe her an explanation of why he needs to change things this one weekend, especially since she makes changes at her whim.

second1's picture

If it were me and he only has reasonable visitation (with her determining what is reasonable), I'd just go ahead and tell her that you all will get someone to watch him for that time frame (ask your pastor, he might know of a teenager or someone that could help out for that short period of time).  Your DH can just say he wanted to give her right of first refusal.  If you cancel your weekend she might stop letting you all have him every weekend.  Right now if you all went to Court you have set a precedent for weekly visitation and there is not much she can object to.   Just my 2 cents.