Vent mainly about stepson
I have so much I am angry about, but right now this is mostly about my stepson.
My stepson who is 6yr told us he and his cousin (same age), smoked cigarettes at his mom's house... When we heard this we were both like :jawdrop: He said it really proud though. When he saw our reaction he quickly shyed away and just didn't want to discuss it anymore. DH talked with him...
Both my stepson and stepdaughter (she's 3) told my DH: "My mom broke up with her BF bc he was texting *insert my name here*" on different occasions. I don't even know what to do or say. If I was to say "No, I did not text your mom's new bf." It would just be an argument and they're 6 and 3, what are they going to understand if I say anything?
Step son tells us he plays Call of Duty all the time, which is a Teen Rated game that should really be M... I think this is just one of the things that has got him being all crazy about guns and destruction. He came with a toy gun that shoots air, I saw him grab his sister's head aggressively and point the gun at her head and say "I'm gonna kill you bitch." His sister screamed but I couldn't tell if she was scared or having fun bc both of her screams sound the same.
Right now, stepson is pissed because his dad is trying to have time with him *son and daddy time* but all SS wants to do is play with my phone. I told him "when you are done having daddy time, you can play with my phone" and he just started crying and saying I was being mean to him.... WTF! I didn't even raise my voice or nothing!!!! so I just came over here on the computer and ignored him, so he's crying even more. His dad keeps going like "Hey, everything is ok, nobody is being mean to you.." blah blah blah. I think DH should ignore him too right now, but whatever.
Earlier today, my daughter was playing a game and I said "oh that's a lion," to which stepson quickly jumped in to argue with me and tell me it was a cheetah. I was like "but cheetahs have spots and lions have manes. this one has a mane and no spots" and he just kept saying "no, it's a cheetah." and I can't tell you how annoying it is to hear his voice after that... He does this with just about everything. He loves to correct everyone, tell them they're wrong even though he's the one that's wrong. But he's really stubborn and even if you prove it to him, he denies it.
why does he do this?? do I argue with him? do I correct him?? do I just ignore him???
So far ignoring makes me the most happiest but I'm not sure if it's the right thing since this also sends a message to my daughter that he can say wtvr he wants to me... IDK WHAT TO DO!!!
What you do is disengage. Let
What you do is disengage. Let DH deal with him. Don't ever give him your phone. DH can buy him a toy phone if he wants him to have one to play with. Why would DH not stop him from playing with Guns? "Bang bang" and a kid-appropriate game of cops and robbers is one thing but holding it to his sisters head and cursing and threatening is sociopath in the making and DH better intervene at once!
Don't ignore him when he's being a brat in your face--Force DH to engage and get him away from you. He doesn't have to understand or agree with the reason you want him gone-just make sure he does it because he has no right to be able to drive you crazy.
By the way, I really get what you're saying about the correcting people. SS9 has been doing this since I came to know him at 4. He doesn't even have to know what you're talking about -he'll catch tail-end of a discussion and jump in to explain how you are wrong. He'll be so sure about it too and when you prove his little ass wrong, he'll just say "no, it was like that, I mean it! I know it was!" very adamantly. Example. Heard a car sales ad on radio Sunday. It said to get there by 4p for a chance to win some car. SS9 tell DH we need to go there to get a free car. DH explains there is no free car & it didn't say that. He argued that the ad said everyone gets a free car before 4p. Dh tried to explain how crazy that is; cars are never free and that wasn't what he said. SS appeared to let it go. But don't you know at exactly 4:01p, he piped up with "See Da'e, you missed out on getting a free car because you wouldn't listen". UGH. Always this kind of thing. When playing with other kids, always "I told you so!" in rare times he is right. He just has the kind of personality that makes him hard to like, not just by me but by other kids even... He has just a few friends and most are friends only because they are friends with BM from before any of the kids were born...
Thank you for your prompt
Thank you for your prompt response. I really needed something! I just told my hubby he needed to take his son away from me when he starts with his attitude with me. He said he will... we'll see.
Your ss9 is still like this though?
Yes, unfortunately. He's
Yes, unfortunately. He's still bratty and the older he gets, the more mouthy he tries to be. This last visit was a looong 10 days. He acted even more like a baby presumably because he's been an only child all these years and next Month his BM is due to have another baby and he is not going to be center of attention anymore. He even snapped at DH when he asked him if he was ready and if the Nursery was done. (House is 4bed and one was his Playroom and now it's the Nursery and he's upset about it). He's too selfish to be excited about it.
Wow...he smoked cigarettes at
Wow...he smoked cigarettes at SIX??? That is unbelievable...in a bad way.
As a word of caution, kids do sometimes try to play one home against the other so I think dh first needs to have a calm talk with bm and find out if this is the truth. If it is, he needs to strongly convey his disapproval and document that he did so, and even write down the date and time of the phone call. And if it is not, and it keeps happening, then he needs to document each and every time ss says he did this and/or says he did anything that sounds abnormal for a kid his age. He needs to take pictures of the kids, write stuff down, etc., and send the documentation to cps. Same goes for sd.
And dh DEFINITELY needs to communicate to bm that he disagrees strongly with her decision to let ss play call of duty. My dh is 37 and just played it for the first time the other day.
It is terrible. BM would
It is terrible. BM would probably just say it's somehow my fault her son did that -if- she admitted it. She brought them once with ringworm and she didn't even know they had it. When I gave them a bath, I saw it and when DH told her, she told him that they got it from our house and she refused to take them to the doctor for over 2 weeks. Check this out, she even refused to let us take them to the doctor and would not let them come over for another month! We did call CPS, I have countless of diary entries, pictures and videos of them saying their mom did this and that... after their investigation, CPS said the only thing they "worried" about was the dog that bit the little one in the face, she had a scar in her eye. She was two at the time. The lawyer says we have a case for $$$$ amount of money.... and we just don't have that kind of money right now. All my hubby's money goes to his kids in child support or in other things they need and all my money goes to all our bills... and honestly after all this time, I think I'd rather divorce before they come and live with us all the time.
-Terrible me
No lol I don't even know who
No lol I don't even know who he is!!! that's why I get mad... bc why is the bm saying stuff like that to the kids....
you're right, it's just that
you're right, it's just that sometimes I'd rather him play on my phone than hear his nagging
-guilty