Told DH I'm done!
I haven't been here for a while because I lost my original log in info and had to start over. Here's some back story to catch everyone up to speed. We've figured out I have health problems (waiting for test results on my diagnosis). So far this year SS8 has ran away twice, the second time the police brought him home. He has been busted stealing money from us and various family members several times, it's usually $20 at a time. On a trip with grandpa to the store he was caught shoplifting. He lies constantly, he disobeys and ignores me every day and I have had enough. BM hasn't worried with SS8 since Christmas and DH works offshore so I am doing mostly everything for a child that treats me like shit. I have been the only consistent person in his life for 7 yrs. Making sure he made it to practice, buying whatever he needed, helping him study, teaching him to read and write, teaching him to tie his shoes, potty training him, and the entire time he has hated me and been horrible to me. I'm now depressed and had to be placed on medication for that and anxiety. At the moment SS8 is spending a month with MIL. I informed DH that I will no longer be responsible for SS and he needed to make arrangements, I am willing to leave if need be. I'm done!
^^this..so much this...I
^^this..so much this...I can't blame the kid for acting out. His anger and frustration are legitimate and he is unfortunately too young to know how to deal with his being seemingly rejected by those that should be there for him. You have done a great job, but he needs at least one of his birth parents to step up and take more of an active role in his life. You are absolutely right to step back and force his parents to step up to the plate and face the music you are not there to be a replacement parent and your SS deserves at least one of his birth parents to be there for him.
At age EIGHT? The kid needs
At age EIGHT? The kid needs to be evaluated for a behavioral disorder, like YESTERDAY. Which should NOT fall to you - the kid's Dad needs to get it done. I agree, the kid is positively SCREAMING for help from his own parents and they are failing him. I'm sorry you became the convenient target!!
DH is actually a really great
DH is actually a really great parent. When he's home he's there non-stop helping. He's actually able to help more with the job he has. If he were home he'd be gone to work before SS wakes up and home for bedtime. We've gotten SS into counseling but it hasn't been long enough to make a difference. DH said he's not willing to let me go. BM has to step up or or whatever needs to happen will happen. We also got a call from MIL today telling us the reason why SS is acting out is because he doesn't feel loved and we don't spend time with him . We are all about our children. We take our kids fishing, hunting, we're active in their sports activities, we practice with them and coach some of their teams. We have a small farm so the kids could join 4h we work together with them to teach them to care for their animals. I could keep going on and on, my point is he's manipulating them and now the situation is getting worse. I'm even more done. We aren't sure what the plan will be at this point but at least I know there will be changes and I probably won't have to deal with MIL anymore either!