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Stepson Issues Vent

PrettyKat's picture

Submitted by PrettyKat on Fri, 08/17/2018 - 6:38pm

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Blended Family Issues

I am getting so annoyed. I’m 29 with an 8 year old son & my Fiancé is 39 with a 17 year old son; we just all recently moved together. My fiancé acts as if his son can’t do anything but is so quick to teach my son to take out the garbage and help around the house when his own 17 year old son doesn’t do any of that. All his son does is stay in room, eat(mess up the kitchen and bathroom) and go skating until 2-3 in the morning. My fiancé gives him no type of responsibility at, he’s not even doing well in school to say the least. I feel like I can’t say much because it’ll start an argument but man am I getting annoyed by the day. I think he should at least have a summer or after school or something....oh and get this...my fiancé’s says “he’s a pretty boy and don’t like to get his hands dirty”..I’m at a complete lost right now and don’t even know what to do, should I speak up or continue to not get involved? 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 08/17/2018 - 7:19pm

I would certainly not let him tell my son what to do, when his own son has no responsibilities.

 

 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Fri, 08/17/2018 - 7:58pm

Absolutely this!

So your son is the house servant while his is the "pretty boy that doesn't like getting his hands dirty"?

No F'in way. ALL kids need to be treated the same. I do believe children should have chores, but one having them and the other not? BS.

I would get to the bottom of this pretty quick with your BF. You are going to start resenting BF and his pretty boy, your son is going to start resenting you, BF and pretty boy. 

Did you discuss these things prior to moving in? 

 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 08/17/2018 - 9:10pm

 Why live together right now? His son is seventeen, will he be going off to college, soon?

I think that it can be really hard to blend families, when each partner has children. I'm not saying that adults don't have the right to find love again, but to do it at the sacrifice of their own child is something that I don't understand.

Of course, you have the right to happiness and to be with the one you love, but you are a parent and with that comes sacrifices, your life is not just your own anymore. Your son is only eight and I think his well being comes first, at this point, and letting this man boss him around, while letting his own son get away with doing nothing, just should not fly.

You can't even talk to your fiancé about it, without him getting mad? What kind of relationship is that? Talk to him about it, anyway. I mean, you want to marry him, are you just never going to talk to him about the important stuff?

 

TheRealHouseWife's picture

Submitted by TheRealHouseWife on Thu, 06/01/2023 - 2:25pm

To this day, I still cant find the right way to bring up issues with my SO son. Theres no easy way to do it but you have to just rip the bandage off. If he really loves you, he will learn to understand you are coming from a good place..

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 06/02/2023 - 1:01am

So, SAY IT!!!!!! 

Start with... "Do not even think about telling my 8yo to do one chore until you get your lazy 17yo off of his ass and he does a minimum of 4hrs of chores a day, 7 days a week for a month. Only then will you approach ME and we will discuss chores for my 8yo. Step up and parent. NOW!!!!"

Lather.... rinse... repeat until daddy pulls his head out or... his spawn gets out.

IMHO of course.