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ishouldrun's picture

Submitted by ishouldrun on Tue, 01/03/2017 - 4:07pm

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Blended Family Issues

DH's parents sent a gift bag for (I'm assuming) the whole family containing a box of candy, some jars of nuts, and a game. Also in the bag when it first arrived was a red envelope with my name, my daughter's name, my DH's name and his son's name which contained $100 (yes I peeked). That envelope was not in the gift bag when we as a family opened the gifts. As of today, my DH has not mentioned the cash. Just looking to see what others think of this behavior. Yes I plan on calling him out on this and more-we have our first counseling session on Wednesday.

Stepped in what momma's picture

Submitted by Stepped in what... on Tue, 01/03/2017 - 4:32pm

I would for sure ask, "hey babe, I noticed the money that was for us in the bag was missing, I am assuming that you set it aside to take us to dinner, what is the plan?"

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Tue, 01/03/2017 - 6:20pm

Maybe his parents specified that it was just for him to spend on a gift for himself. I would just ask if that's the case. My mom would give me cash on my birthday and tell me to buy myself something. I would usually spend it on my kids.

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Tue, 01/03/2017 - 6:47pm

Well, that's where the asking if that's the case comes in to play.

ishouldrun's picture

Submitted by ishouldrun on Thu, 01/05/2017 - 9:18am

Update - Lots of lies Sad His somewhat explanation is that he took it out of the envelope so it wouldn't get lost and then forgot about it. Even the counselor picked up on it. He kept trying to say "I'll give you the money" both counselor and I telling him - it's not about the money. Made a date for Saturday night to talk more about issues and going back to the counselor. I just need to figure out if its worth it anymore I really hate being lied to.

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Thu, 01/05/2017 - 9:27am

Lies are the surest way to ruin a marriage. I'm sorry he did that to you. It's hard to get a liar to change.

Coffey's picture

Submitted by Coffey on Thu, 01/05/2017 - 3:17pm

Are you sure that was a lie and he simply didn't forget? I would easily grab a check from my mother (before it got lost) w/o mentioning it right away.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 01/05/2017 - 9:29am

IDK.. my dad sends a $300.00 check to us for holidays. The card usually has all our names.. the check written out to me. I guess I do tell my DH that we got it, but since I pay all the bills and such, I usually just allocate it to what we need.

His parents gave us $100.00 and we ended up going out to eat.

I guess the difference is that we both know about the money.

Is there any reason why he might want to hide spending from you? gambling? drugs?