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Momma2CJ's picture

I've been in my step daughters life for almost 4 years and my husband and I got married and had a baby this year and are having another. My sd does not listen to me, she lies and ignores me, talks back, says very inappropriate things, says I'm not raising her, her mom told her I'm not her mom so she now says that ur not my momma stuff, she altogether undermines me and does not see me as an authority figure. My husband feels like I'm mistreating her by telling her to stop this do that dont do this so on so he has told me before that she is him and her mommas child not mine leave things to them I have nothing to do with it he has told me if she does something tell him instead of saying something to her so really I have no control and he doesn't feel like her talking to me stupid or disrespecting me or not listening is an issue she has even told me she doesn't listen toe bc she doesn't have to. I stay away when she is here bc I will Not be disregarded. Now he is saying Ii need to treat her like my own but still have no say. He says I'm wrong for not considering her my child bc we married but still I have no say. I I'm at a loss. I he doesn't want to change any discipline but wants me to deal with it smiling. HELP!

Momma2CJ's picture

She did not act like this a year ago, she started reaallllyy acting this way once we found out we were having a baby. I he and I have been friends since junior high and the basis of a marriage is not one sole thing. Are you saying I should not have married him bc of this issue alone? And I am happy having my children close. I think it's hard handing over the reigns of your child to anyone and I believe he is acting like a jerk bc of it, could just be being a jerk right now or could be that he does not know how to deal with someone who is not her mother disciplining her! I'm asking for ideas on how to get to the root of the problem and start repairing it from ppl who have experienced similar issues so I'm certainly not understanding why your response is so negative.

Frustr8d1's picture

Wow Echo, way to point out to someone that they are now fucked and it's too late to change! Rude.

twopines's picture

He can't have it both ways. My decision would be to disengage from the skid and focus on my husband and children. It's very freeing.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Indeed! I'm up in my room relaxing and drinking tea on my laptop while DH is downstairs fixing fat-ass stepshit dinner.

Momma2CJ's picture

Does that make the family feel separated or does it get easier doing it that way bc as of now when she's here they do their thing and I stay away but it's causing a bit of friction

Momma2CJ's picture

I want to be a happy family but the feelings for my own is not the same feelings I have for SD. I'm not mean, I I just can't deal with such a difficult time child and it come across like sunshine and rainbows