Off-topic: I'm really steamed at my coworkers. With the WFH mandate now they can ignore me and put stuff off even more easily and readily. I can give dates and deadlines and still no one pays attention until the last minute. And they just drop offline and I cannot get a hold of them to complete something. It stems from my boss, too. Ugh. She had something for days and didn't look at it until the night before it was supposed to be submitted to an outside agency and then held a meeting to go over the changes that morning, still wanted more changes, and imported it into and did edits in a tool I explicitly asked her not to use as it screws the formatting on the way back out and I have to turn in the source file to the agency, too. F- me. But when it's other deadlines I'm supposed to just suck it up and be on call basically 24/7 to get their shit done. And, I'm sorry, but I think the fact my stuff is for compliance to regulations that it's more important in the grand scheme of things. I have all the responsibility and none of the authority.

On a related note I was telling DH about this since it just occurred yesterday. I get that he may not want to listen to it but I really needed to vent and I told him so. He kept telling me it was late and he wanted to go to bed (but we'd stayed up other nights watching movies, hm). Then DS came home. DS had gone out to do one thing with one friend following the social distancing parameters but he was gone longer than we expected. And now DH wanted me to stay up and talk to DS about that and why it was a problem for x, y, and z reasons. I told DH that those are his issues and he can address them with DS and now that there's something he, DH, wants done it's okay to stay up when seconds ago he just wanted to go to bed? Screw that noise. You want me to have all the responsibility here, too? You don't want to be the bad guy. I get that DS is my kid but he's an adult and this is DHs house, too, and it seems to be affecting DH so he can say something (which I've always encouraged but it's never been that way for me and the skids per DHs "rules"). I made some of my own statements to DS and told both of them that I cannot be the only one in the house responsible for monitoring and maintaining the rules for this quarantine. (DS definitely understands I'd let him be homeless if he plays fast and loose with the pandemic rules.) They are both adults, they know what to do, and they can talk together about if if there's a problem. I cannot also be responsible for all three people here. I walked away. DH tried to follow. I told him to get his ass back in there and have the discussion he wants to have with DS. It's not my job and he doesn't get to think that what I said is his way out of this.

And speaking of skids. This morning DH said that he and DS talked. One of the points was whether DS could go to his dads (XH has been sick with pneumonia and DS hasn't seen him in at least three weeks). And DH said that he and DS discussed a rotating schedule (like a few weeks a piece at each place) to keep infection rates down, but that DH is okay with that since he knows XH is taking things seriously and DS is a very clean person. Unlike his sons. I nearly fell over. DH said that, not me. DH asked me if I agreed. I nodded. He said that given what slobs they are and how bad they are at hygiene he thinks they could have it and that they'd likely transfer it to us, that having two extra people around would be difficult, and that he doesn't think he could get them to be clean enough. That face it, his kids are unclean. I just kept hmmmm-ing. But I couldn't stop my smile. DH asked why I was smiling. I said I'm surprised to hear him be so realistic about his own children and I cannot help but remind him that these are all things I said for a long time and he got upset with me and excused them and it's something they could have been taught/forced to do so it became habit and now look at the repercussions. DH agreed. Again I nearly fell over.

A little bit of self-centered preservation on DHs part is bringing out some truths. Go figure.