Yes, I think it very natural the feelings you have. I read all the time that the "marriage" is to come FIRST even over our children. It's a hard thing to swallow when our children are So very important to us and when you don't have children in common it's a hard thing to accept. But the marriage must be strong and take first priority. MY DH and I do not have any children together, but since we don't I feel that there will never be a stron BOND between us lie he says he has with his ex and that really bothers me. Not sure what kind of man your husband is, but if you haven't already yet you need to TRY to have a conversation with him because it truly is not the childs fault and you will all resent each other as tome goes on. This will cause even greater problems within your family. you need to clearly state your expectations of marriage and family and find a good balance. Easier said than done I know all too well and at this point you may not know WHAT exactly it is you expect, but I think you are beginning to see what is going on is NOT at all what you wanted Good luck!!

I agree, it's natural, but still a difficult thing. It's will be important to make sure you both do little things for each other. Be sure you get "date" nights and be sure to take time every night, if ya can, to connect with each other.

It's hard to separate all those mixed feelings but try to. Make sure you find things to do that make YOU happy. You can't rely on your hubby for that, especially right now since the child is so young.

We are having my honey's 17 year old son live with us right now as his mom goes through a psycho stage (had the son committed to a mental hospital... long story... when she should have been the one to go!!!) Poor kid needs us but it's soooo disrupting my life. I am trying to have patience as he's a great kid. My honey has no clue how to parent and I have to ask a million questions, even about the simple things like "when do you thing "son" will be home tonight?" His comments is "I don't know" For EVERYTHING! I do have two kids and you have to ask a ton of questions... always...

Anyway... be sure to do your part and show your hubby love... I'm sure you will get it in return. Be honest and open about how you need attention, too. I think the worst part is when the resentment starts and takes over in us. Especially for us women... we get nasty!

You've been given great counsel by the other posters. Your husband needs to really believe that you care deeply for his son or he will unconsciously (and maybe even counsciously) try to protect him from you. The resulting dynamic will make you feel like an outsider and a me vs. them situation. It's important that you and your DH have time to bond independent of the child and do things alone so that you are secure in your stature within the family. Many people with children see the kid as a natural extension of themselves and want to include them in everything. It's important that your husband sees the importance of alone time with you to solidify the foundation of the family.

I've learned the hard way that it's truly unfair to resent the child for dynamics that are either being created by or encouraged by your DH. It's important that you and DH communicate and work through the issues together. Expecting the SS to act or be differently without your DH acting differently is unrealistic and not fair. Trust me, been there and done that.

Hugs