Kids jealousy
How do you deal with it? There is so much jealousy in my family.
1) SD jealous of my DH and I showing any affection to each other. Immediately afterwards she bounces over with “I love you daddeee”
2) bio kids jealous of SD as they see spoilt behaviorist and feel that things aren’t fair ( they totally are, in every way. I would not allow it not to be) however there is one DH for one SD and one of me for two bios, so the bios are jealous of the only child treatment.
3) SD jealous of bios as they have more time with DH in number of nights spent in the same house. However in reality with work and school there isn’t more time at all.
4) eldest jealous of youngest bio due to level of help youngest needs, youngest jealous of oldest bio as they have more freedom
Every kid is jealous of the other. I have no idea how to stop it.
At a fairly young age, all
At a fairly young age, all kids should learn the basic concept of "life is NOT fair"
And while I think that parents should try to treat their children fairly that doesn't mean that it will always be equal. parents also can't necessarily right every wrong in the world..or try to even the playing field for their child.
You yourself just posted that there are different ways that each of them end up with the better end of the deal.
Honestly, you probably have more control over what your kids understand.. and how they behave. I don't think it would be bad to have a little sit down to explain to them how BLESSED they are to live the life that they do and while sometimes other people will have nicer things.. or get better treatment? In the end, they have people that love them and provide for them.. and they have opportunities in life that other people would kill for. Tell them to spend less time worrying about what is on someone else's plate and make the best of what they DO have.
For your SD, your DH should be giving her that same message. He also needs to get through that even though he loves you... he still loves her as well.. that he has the capacity to do both. And.. yes.. your kids are there more, but there are two of them.. so the attention is split and SHE gets the attention from her mom when she is away... so it's not like she is missing out.
Consequences for bratty/entitled/jealous behavior should try to help them gain more empathy for others.. and learn to appreciate what they do have.
I myself
I basically had a couple of options. One was to start spoil my kid with all these gifts and junk food, which I was totally against. Or separate the kids somehow. The second option works for us so far. My DH visits his boy or the boy visits him but me and DD are not around. They can do, play, have and eat whatever they want and DD is not impacted by all of this b/s.
It is not perfect but I prefer it this way than seing DD cry because she doesn’t have as much gifts as DH’s boy does or chips or all other crap.
You don't stop it. You put
You don't stop it. You put your foot down and force them to stop it or .... they received upleasant age appropriate consequences.
Stopping it is their choice. They stop... or they suffer.
I received this lesson from my parents as did my younger brother. I would not be allowed to interfere with his turn to be a younger age. I had already had my turn. He would not be allowed to interfere with my being an older age. His time would come.
We had no choice but to accept that parenting or ... we experienced age appropriate unpleasant consequences.