Well here I am, thinking Dr. Laura must be the most intelligent women on the planet because she KNOWS step parenting is a nightmare for all who are involved. Which is why she advises against it!
Synopsis - Married just shy of 2 years, living overseas with my Military husband and our four kids. His (17) & (12) and mine (18) and (8). I will refer to them by age only to protect their identity.
Today's fight in the house- who's night is it to do dishes? I've posted a schedule, however, 17 had a babysitting job on her night. 18 agreed to take 17's night (since she rarely ever babysits to earn money to put gas in the car Daddy bought for her no-strings-attached). Daddy tells 17 to do her dishes before she leaves - then 18 comes back and re-cleans the kitchen. So Sunday night, 18's night, she does not do dishes because she believes 17 is trading with her from Friday. 18 gets in trouble on Monday for Sunday's undone dishes. Now 18 wants to go off on 17 stating she will never help her out again! Here's the problem - it is obvious to me that there was a huge miscommunication which led to a misunderstanding. However, Dad will not tarry through the weeds to get to the details. He leaves that to me. So now, everyone has retreated to their own corners and refuse to come out of their rooms, INCLUDING Dad.
I feel abandoned. And I can’t complain to him too much because he serves our country, and no matter how distressed I am about my day, it could never compare to the stress and fatigue he suffers on a daily basis has he prepares to head into the battle zone. (What-EVER!) I'm in a battle zone too.

Now on to 12 and 8. (12) acts eight, and 8 has ADD. 12 is actually a sparkling human being. However, because 12 is so charming, intelligent, curious, calculating, nosey, & helpful.. he tends to be overbearing. 12 wants to help 8 with every step of the way. You see, 12 has a disabled brother back home, to whom he offers all of his assistance. Now with 8, he feels the need to tell him when to brush his teeth, how to wear his clothes, yadda yadda.. He's a mini dad/mother hen to 8. He gets good grades most of the time, but is terribly lazy when it comes to chores, school work or anything that requires physical exertion. 8 on the other hand is a hand full! Without medication, he is a disturbance at school with minor behavioral problems. He has some very unique pet peeves - sitting in the same chair all the time, not having someone touch his food, noises, etc. Similar to some autistic characteristics, 8 has some weird hang-ups, but is mostly a joy to be around. So say the teachers, counselors, reading aid's etc. Not just Mom's opinion of the then little rascal.
8 and 12 argue like Fred and Ethel! As a matter of fact, that's exactly what I call them. Yet they are inseparable. They fight over who's going to sit up front, who will turn the light off in their shared bedroom at night, who's turn it is to take out the trash in their room, blah, blah, blah!!!!

17 difficult to enjoy. Our wedding picture could actually win for funniest photos - because on the day of our wedding, 17 had her arms folded, a mean grimace in her eye, and her lip hanging down as if she had just had dental surgery. I've tried to Photoshop her out, but it only makes what is missing more obvious. My entire family laughed at the sight of her. As a matter of fact, her mood made everyone uncomfortable. Needless to say, no wedding day pictures hang in our home.
17 is spoiled, has no work ethic, flashes a dimple and becomes puddy in Daddy's arms. 18 just wants to move. Which she will be leaving very soon.
There are so many more very serious details, but I will leave it at the introduction. Perhaps if anyone else understands my battle between holding down the fort with uncooperative children - and dealing with the lack of support of having a traveling/military spouse.
Hopefully, someone does. Because I've prayed, laid it at the altar, now I'm blogging about it! I'm growing weary - hence the username - WearyOne!