I am losing it when it comes to SS10.......Kinda Long
My SS10 is jealous of my BD7. He came to live with us over a year ago and still as of yesterday he said he hates her. He hasn't had a relationship w/my DH his whole life due to his BM being a B****. She's lied to SS10 his whole life and cried on the court stand so DH didn't get to see him. She had a way older boyfriend that my SS10 considered his best friend and his dad and in a way. So needless to say she ruined any relationship DH and SS10 could've ever had, but SS10 blames my DH for it. He believes all her lies that he never wanted to see him all these years and that he has another family.
SS10 is now living with us b/c BM is no longer in the picture and I hate it. I don't hate any kids, I love kids, but I can't stand him and I don't understand why. I think it's b/c I don't see him as my DH's son. I see him as his skanky BM's kid ONLY. My DH and I have been together for almost 9yrs and 2 of them we've been married and I am ready to run. I love him, but can't stand his son. It's never ending aggravation. I don't even wanna come home some times b/c I can feel me already getting aggravated b/c it's always something. He hates at least 2/3 of the things we have for dinner, EVERY night.......EVERY NIGHT He is mean to my BD7 all the time, but he tries to do it sneakily, but I hear him and she will snitch on him anyway. He lies CONSTANTLY. It's a handful of things. The main thing that just put me over is last night. He took my BD7's loofa and rubbed lip gloss all over it and lied to DH and my face about it. He does dumb stuff like that all the time to her. He took her toothbrush months ago and rubbed it against a bar of soap and put it back in the cup for her to use. He took her shower gel and mixed it with conditioner. He cut the brush she uses. I mean it's dumb stuff. Last night was the straw that broke the camels back when he did that and said he hated her. It's like this is never gonna change. I thought after a year we would be further along then we are and it's just like it's going to stay the same until he moves out in 8yrs. I asked him why he did it and he stared at me, so I asked again and he said b/c he hates her. I about lost it. I am tired of him hurting her feelings. She is a little girl that has become mean since he came to live with us and it's getting to me big time.
You think my DH would have a talk w/him and ask why he hates her and talk to him a bit, but he would rather ignore it and ask like nothing is wrong. He is a kid who needs therapy and he was in it, but my DH let him stop going b/c he seen him playing so that, I guess in my DH's head, made him all better. DH is pretty good about keeping him in line and getting punished for what he does wrong, but when he says he hates her he expects me to figure why.
I"M DONE. He brakes BD7's toys and just acts like it wasn't him. I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I love my DH w/all my heart, but I am at the point I want to get my own apartment after the holiday's, but I also don't wanna break my DH's heart at the same time. I know I if I do that I am leaving him alone to deal with the situation, but at the same time when is enough, enough. SM's and SD's deal with a lot of crap from people so when do we look out for our own sanity. I am so lost I don't know what to do. I actually had 2 fever blisters w/in 3 weeks from SS10 stressing me out. I usually get 1 once a year due to cold weather, but this is just non-sense.
Anyone else have these dumb problems?
I do tell my daughter to
I do tell my daughter to ignore him when he's laughing at her. I told her if it's not making you mad and he sees that then he would stop it. She does it sometimes, but other times she wants to hit him and usually does. She used to never hit anyone. If kids at school would pinch her, hit her or did something to her she would come home and tell me and not hit them back. Now, when it comes to him she's ready to hit him even when he laughs a little bit. He makes fun of her just so she will hit him and then she will get in trouble.
It's like when it comes to him I do the things that needs to be done, like laundry, help with homework and make dinner, but anything extra I don't wanna do it. I don't even want to go out of my way to do anything nice. I am thee nicest person in the world and I am always laughing and joking with kids, but not with him. It's like I want to avoid him b/c the things he does to my daughter are just mean and a ton more things he does just puts me over. I love the kill with kindness thing, but with him I just can't do it. I tried. I tried to ignore it, and disasemble and it worked for a bit, but he does 5 more things in a row and it's back to square one. I can feel myself no longer laughing as much when I go home. I feel my blood pressure rise and get annoyed. Then I feel myself getting mad at DH. I know it's not his fault, but it's like it's his kid and he just keeps doing these things. I don't project it onto him, but in my own mind I am cursing him out for ever hooking up with BM.