help wanted
Okay so I have my kids, and SS live with me. SS gets whatever he wants and when he doesn't or gets in trouble by his dad or doesn't listen to me, I'm to blame. Never changes. No matter what I do, I lose. Constantly says he is treated different than BS & my 2 BD. There is a difference because their attitudes are different. They seldom argue or talk back to me or DH, when they do with DH I intervene. My kids are quick to apologize and recognize their wrong doing where SS argues, screams, uses profanity, and has violent tendencies. So of course their outcome is different from SS. I'm always to blame and now feel my kids and my lives are being threatened because of something I found. SS has a tendency to be aggressive with BS who is much younger and smaller than him. DH said they would leave if I wanted, I don't know what to do. BM has no rules, and has consistently bad mouthed me to SS and his older siblings so I know this is part of the issue. I have had issues with them too, luckily one never lived with me, and now SD is gone.
Its hard to make a child that
Its hard to make a child that has ADHD/ODD follow rules of any kind and even harder if the other parent is going against you. If DH child is a threat to you and your small children. I would let him go in order to keep them safe. I think I have read some of your post before. I feel bad your in a terrible spot and so is your DH. I wouldn't know what to do if I were in your shoes.
SS13, never diagnosed ADD or
SS13, never diagnosed ADD or ADHD, or ODD. I told DH that since the most recent outburst he had been babying him and ignoring things he was getting onto my children for. He swore he wasn't even though I was witnessing it all. I have not left my kids alone around SS13 since the most recent situation. Yesterday me and my children left for soccer and shopping, leaving SS13 home. The kids all have to have permission to be on the computer, no matter what. DH came home found SS13 on computer, said he chose initially to ignore it, then I guess his conscious got to him. He went in and told him I know you didn't ask SM and you didn't ask me to be on the computer. He immediately got agitated, I'm doing homework. DH told him it doesn't matter he knows the rules and he didn't follow them. SS13 started yelling profanity's at DH, got up in his face calling him a P, and what is he going to do about it, acting like a punk. Amazingly DH kept his cool from what he said, and that is not typical in these situations, we've been reading a lot of empowered parenting information to help with his son and my kids when needed. So finally I'm not there for one of these outbursts, still I get the blame. DH called BM and asked where he is being exposed to this type of language, and action. That it's not coming from our home, and that me and my kids don't deserve to be bullied by him, it's been on going for 5 years and only seems to get worse. She said she didn't know, whatever! I know she bad mouths me and my kids to him and always has. She bad mouths her husbands kids, I've been sitting within ear shot when it's happened with SD19 who was 17 at the time.
And BM physically fights with
And BM physically fights with her current husband, no matter who is around. So I can see him getting it from there, just as I can see her calling him a P. Oh and counseling starts next week for SS13, FINALLY!!!