Hate my step daughter- now social services involved with my children!
Hi
but of background info I’ve been with my partner for nearly 13 years, he has a daughter who is 15 and was taken into care from her mum due to emotional harm and drugs and alcohol when she was 11.
OH had not seen her since she was 2 and we found out that she was in care and fought to get her out, I was also given PR due to me being the main carer for all of our children we had 5 of our own children together by this point.
Her mum was having supervised contact supervised by my OH for around a year and then stopped coming and changed her phone number.
Everything was great with step daughter up until about a year ago, we had to stop her from hanging around with a certain girl as we had police at our door and other families complaining, sd hates this and constantly breaks that rule, she’s also been found to break our no social media rule and was talking to older men sexually, also whilst with this girl. She also turns up late to school lessons. Our way of punishment is the same for all kids, if you break a rule once then you get 24 hours grounding and no tv at bedtime, break the rule again and it’s a week on the same punishment, due to dd constantly breaking the rules she is grounded a fair bit and has no phone now as she cannot be trusted.
Ive even had the girl shout at me in the street that sd cuts herself because of me and that she is getting her mother to beat me up
move also been questioned on my parenting bythat girls mum and had an arguemnrt over my sd not being able to hang around with her daughter
sd slags me and her dad off at school to her friends and she hates us
age also lies about anything and everything and won’t admit to anything unless you put evidence in front of her, which sends me around the twist
Recently she started scratching herself on her arms which we feel is for attention, we spoke to her and she said she misses her mum.
I have honestly tried my hardest with her and even upset my own daughter on her birthday as I promised to take her to get her nails done in a salon and when sd mum let her down on contact I took her to get her nails done with us as she had also made that promise to sd.
Anyway after a week into the 6 week holiday from school my fil got a message from sd mum on social media totally out of the blue saying to unground her daughter, to add that she isn’t actually grounded but only allowed out with her sister and cousin because she isn’t allowed to hang around with that girl, basically this girl let’s call her E has been allowing sd to call her mum from her mobile phone behind our backs after asking for her number on fb. If you remember me saying sd is NOT allowed any unsupervised contact with her mum and it is in a court order. If mum wants to re establish contact she now has to apply to the courts as she has breached that order
so yestdday we got a phone call from social services saying someone has phoned them saying sd is not happy with us, she goes into school depressed and is scared to come home after school in cases she is punished, she has been grounded for 8 months, her dad has called her disgusting and that I shout at her all the time. The social worker said she needs to speak to sd on her own to get her views and that my bio children were not mentioned but this will affect them too
now I’m soo angry and need to vent
Does your SD have a therapist
Does your SD have a therapist? She's undoubtedly had some traumatic experiences living with her mother.
Not now, she’s had 2 years of
Not now, she’s had 2 years of counselling
Perhaps a good therapist
Perhaps a good therapist could help her and help you and DH to manage her and not go crazy?
Your H's daughter sounds like
Your H's daughter sounds like a very damaged soul, and she clearly needs both discipline and therapy. Is there a relative on her mother's side who would be willing to raise her? Or, maybe it's time to consider your H getting a small apartment for himself and SD? She's shown that she doesn't care about damaging your family unit just to get her way, so pehaps you should live apart until she's old enough to launch.
This is something we have
This is something we have discussed, I’ve literally tried everything with her now the social services involvement is like the final straw for me, I have a son with asd who I moved out of his own room to accommodate her and give her space and everything, placing stress into him
I do not need and should not have to put my kids through social services involvement
I’m absolutely heartbroken about this
Also forgot to say there are
Also forgot to say there are no family members that can take her, they are all deemed a risk to her
and on our side it’s not practical, my oh only has his dad as his mum passed away in 1990s
You could put SD
In a mental health place. For inpatient therapy. Or DH has to move out untill this is solved.
I agree with this. She is
I agree with this. She is seeking dangerous attention. She needs real help.
Hopefully you can get her in with a psychiatrist that can recommend a good facility. Insurance usually covers things like this since it is crisis.
Can you locate a PhD child
Can you locate a PhD child psychologist. What does current counselor say about cps involvement? Since child is under the umbrella of THIS counselor, surely a call was made to set things straight with cps,,,right?
Sorry about this you must feel sick.
Sounds like its time to get
Sounds like its time to get all of the officials in a room. CPS, the therapist, and pull the rug out from under the manipulative toxic crotch dropping. Then tighten the controls on this little shit before she costs you your family. Her manipulating CPS threatens your own children and the family that you and your DH have built.
Time to use the stick she brought to the fight to beat some sense into her. Figuratively of course.