Happy Easter. I read everyone’s posts and understand that we are all in this hell. One thing I have learned is that your new spouse won’t grow up unless they get it shoved in their face that the way they have raised their monster isn’t conducive to any positive relationships inside the home or out of it. Yes, you do have to stand up for your own sanity, even if it means leaving the relationship. Never assume responsibility for your mates children, it’s a further ploy to allow them to not deal with their own crap. You didn’t create their mess so stop the enabling and make them deal with it. Disrespect comes from a sense of entitlement that if you didn’t teach your children to have and your spouse is all consumed with it, then it’s a major clash of values. My step monster is the epitome of this. So when I put my foot down, then his exact words are “ effing c$@t”. Well, that earned him a one way ticket out of my house. He didn’t inherit that behavior from thin air, he is modeling the same behavior he saw is dear old dad and loosely applied term “mother” exhibit. The harsh reality is that our spouses are really that nasty kid that is defying you right now, so how are you gonna deal? Each person is unique to their situation, but you do have choices. My choices are that I refuse to live or be treated like crap by a bunch of backwards hillbilly goons that can’t evolve through society. So I withdrew any financial help, and these people can figure it out on their own. I also have secured me a place where I can have my own solitude from the crap that gets me drained. I put myself back in school to further my career and focused more time on me and my kids. Stopped chasing someone who wouldn’t chase me and drew firm boundaries that I will not let pass. Yes, I’m even willing to divorce if there isn’t major changes because one thing we as step parents under seize by ruthless selfish beings need to realize is that WE are the WORTHY ones. Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t really value you!!! You deserve so much more. Go find it. Thank you for your posts, it makes me not feel alone in this. Let’s all be blessings to each other.