My DP thinks I am being unfair here, but we got on to this discussion today about if we split or he died...

He asked me if I would still maintain a relationship with his daughter and I said straight up "No".

He asked me what about the boys seeing their sister, and I said that if we split all contact would be maintained through him and that if he died it would be maintained through his family. Not me.

I told him quite bluntly that when I married him, I married HIM, and not his daughter. I have only accepted her because I am with him. If I am not with him then his daughter becomes nothing to me.

I don't quite know what he was expecting me to say really. If we split or he died, then my boys would be affected immensely, and as a mother they would be my top priority for everything. I would have to be there to console them and maintain a positive environment for them, which I would not be able to do if I had to divide my attention between them and SD have my SD over for tea/ overnight and provide financially for her, all of which are highly unfair expectations for an ex-stepmum to have to think about.