How heartless are your SKids?
My hedgehog died... I've had hedgehogs since 2016. I work an hour from home so dogs are not an option and I'm allergic to cats. Hedgies are low maintenance but they're my peoples.
A lady from a hedgehog page I follow just had a little of hedgehogs roughly 2 months ago and she has a little boy left. His name is Lucky and she offered him to me for free. An amazing gift and he really needs a home as they have a ton of other pets and 3 kids.
So after conversation, I told my H I am going to adopt Lucky. This afternoon, I come home and H says to me that the SDs are angry that I'm getting another hedgehog and they're going to say something about it. He didn't even have to tell them that he died. I'm sure one of the girls probably said they were happy that my hedgie died, thinking this way they could ask for a cat or a dog... when they still won't fit into our lifestyle.
Who the hell are they to tell me what I can do in my house?!? They have 4 cats and 2 dogs at their main residence. I do not care and until the day they help pay rent...
they. and. their. stupid. thoughts. do. not. mean. SHIT. to. me.
So what heartless stuff do your SKids do to you?
A litter of hedgehogs
A litter of hedgehogs
I wouldn't call it heartless.
I wouldn't call it heartless. I'd call it kids expressing their opinion, and adults giving that opinion WAY too much credit. You can't expect other people to care about your pet. But, the skids should probably also be told that expressing their negative thoughts out loud is neither kind or polite.
I do expect them to
Respect the adults in their lives and to care about those who had something bad happen to them.
so again yes, they're heartless.
And no, I do not expect them
To care about my pet, but to care about living creatures, human and non. These horrible young girls only care about getting what they want or making sure no one else is happy. They enjoy one upping everyone, which I can't believe they try it with adults. They THRIVE and RELISH in other peoples' sadness. They intentionally trash the house and then complain when we don't go out, as I do not reward their BS.
I still can't believe their mom was home with them for the first 12 years and they're like this. She has a masters in Psychology!
my D isn't perfect either but she's never acted like this...
I know they want me to vaporize, or better yet, I'm sure they think about smothering me in my sleep... but I'm not going to let two unbelievably, self-centered, monetary, self-entitled child aged creeps with hugely overinflated egos try and push me around.
this is why steps get the bad reputation they do! We constantly have to fight and stand our ground and people are horrified by it.
sorry for the loss of your pet
Sorry you lost your hedgehog
Did you bring home your new little guy? I'm the same way with our tortoises - I feel that one should not have a dog, if the dog will be treated like a dog and not a member of the family. In our case, alone 12 hours a day at times. That isn't going to change anytime soon. My youngest DD wanted a pet - we went to get her a tortoise and came home with two! We've had them 3 years and hopefully they will live 50 more! We ADORE these tortoises - I'd be devastated if something were to happen to them. Anyway the one nice thing I can say about BM is she loves animals too. Years ago, she called DH to come home from work so he could move a big turtle out of the road/out of danger. My Skids are the same way about their pets. Keep standing your ground with those worthless POS SD's - and always put your pet first!
I heard tortoises
Are wonderful pets! I have a friend who has two and they're very calming.
I will continue to have hedgehogs. They're easy to maintain and can be ok for a couple days in case I have to run out of town. They have relatively independent spirits. That's why I like them.
I never have made them feed them or clean them or their cage. These SKids just have these angry spirits. They never want anyone to be happy.
Their BM actually sent a text saying she sent her condolences for the loss of Pikachu. Recently she sent a text saying I had to get over the fact that the one SD just won't get over the divorce (almost 4 years now).
They also know I had nothing to do with why their parents marriage ended. But I guess they feel the need to blame someone.
I truly wish that their parents would take them to see a therapist. Someone they could talk to to break through their anger.
Why would they be angry that
Why would they be angry that you are getting another hedgehog? What's it to them? Why would they feel the need to say something to you about it? It's your home, you can do as you please without consulting them.
What about your DH's part in
What about your DH's part in this? Why did he just sit back and let his kids say something to you? If my SD told my DH that she was going to say something to me about a pet in my house, he'd tell her that we pay the bills and that she better keep her opinion to herself. It sounds like your DH caters to his daughter's negative behavior. He needs to have your back and parent his mouthy kid.
why the heck is your DH
why the heck is your DH stirring the pot about his kids feelings about you getting a pet? Did he tell you that he stood up for your "right" to make these kinds of decisions in your own home? did he manage to tell you "why" the kids were upset about you getting a new one? Or did he just leave you with the fun of guessing what is in their heads.
Maybe they have another issue with the hedge hogs... maybe they don't want another pet in the house to die? (we went through that with our farm animals and my SD's.)
In the end though, it seems like the lack of feelings between you and the kids is pretty mutual. You don't care about their feelings.. they appear to not care about yours.... so disengage
Your H should have shut down
Your H should have shut down his daughter as soon as she felt she needed to "say something about it". Her opinion was not asked nor required so she can keep her opinion to herself. She doesn't get a say on what pets are allowed in YOUR home. I would have addressed H, and step daughter would have have been notified immediately. Sweety don't entertain these kids, let them know what's the deal and they don't have to like it but they will respect it.
Their mother having a masters in Psychology doesn't mean a damn thing so please get that misconceived notion out of your head. It seems like both parents are raising self entitled kids and they lack a spine to put their foot down. You on the other hand can treat them accordingly. I'd disengage from them completely. If she dares open her mouth about a pet....SHUT DOWN mode ASAP, good bye and she's dimissed.
Anonymity~ you had me at
Anonymity~ you had me at Cockatoo
Seriously though....where do these kids even think they get to run shit and much less feel the need to tell me what I can or can't have in MY house.....miss me with the BS.....she'd have some hurt feelings if I were there.
My ADULT skids were upset
My ADULT skids were upset when DH and I brought home a new puppy a few years ago. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.
What's up with that? Did they
What's up with that? Did they think he was replacing them? Geez.
They must be consulted on
They must be consulted on every decision, dontcha know. They also didn't like the name we chose.
DH (and BM) did this to themselves. They included those kids in every single decision they made based on whatever child psychologist was in vogue when the kids were little. There's a difference between "what pizza toppings do you want" and "should we invest in real estate."
I periodically have to remind DH who the spouse is and how much say his kids have in anything I do. Funny, zero is always the answer to that one.
They must be consulted on
Dup.
Your DH is the main problem
He is not shutting down his DD. He should of told her, it's your house too. If you want a pet. That it. That SD has no say in it. You and DH are the adults she is the child. It's his fault for letting this go on, moving her up to adukt status, or she think she is a adult and really has a say in any of this.
If she is having a hard time with the divorce, she should see someone. Not let it just go on
tell the brats that hedgehog is worth more than they are
they have no right to have any opinion whatsoever. My response would be stfu and by the way your household rank falls below the new hedgehog :)
Tell them until they actually
Tell them until they actually contribute to the household they have no say
Many years ago, when my DH & I had just moved into our new home, along with my then teenage OSD, who like yours contributed absolutely NOTHING to the household (didn't contribute a dime, didn't have any chores, didn't so much as say thank you for meals cooked for her, etc..) I was discussing with DH how I would love a through rug in the living room, to go on the hardwood floor
SD pipes up and rudely says "WHY would anyone want to put a throw rug on the hardwood"
I remember biting my tongue and simply turning to DH for support (who of course just tried to fluff it all off between us rather than tell his daughter she was out of line)
I regret now that I didn't look her in the eyes, and say exactly what I think you should say to yours - "since our name is on the mortgage, since we pay the mortgage, since we pay for the food you eat and all the things you take for granted in this house, WE will decide how this home is decorated. And since you not only contribute nothing, and can't even express an opinion that is already out of line without an attitude, I'm not even slightly interested in what you suggest, let alone pay any mind to it"
I didn't say much to her, but I did make sure we had a lovely light throw rug on our dark hardwood floor!