Done
I've tried so hard. I've tried interacting with them. They didn't like it so I tried disengaging, so then I was a 'bitch'. The one doesn't even come to the house anymore. The other one (with oppositional defiance disorder who just cost her parents $1500 by waiting one day too late to cancel a band trip) just told my H a complete lie to start a screaming match over a movie, while he's drunk, by the way.
Why the flying f should I have to buy these $&@?$ gifts? Why should I have to put up with any of their crap?!?
And on top of this shit, he and their biomom (who is home and not working this week btw) is expecting me to leave work early tomorrow and take the two $&@?$ to their dentist?!?!?
I'm done. Finished. Between his drunk anger, the lies, the avoidance, the being treated like a third wheel in their marriage and being expected to be the limo driver when I've already done that for my now adult child...
I want to pack a bag, throw it in my truck and never come here again.
ive prayed that if I only go back 3.5 years ago and said no. If I could've never sold my single lady house. If when I first realized how horrible they were, I could've told him and his ex off...
I've ruined my life. I'd trade all this to be old and alone and be found alone and dead someday in my old lady house...
if anyone here is dating someone with kids, please just run.
The screaming match
Was between him and I, btw.
and oh yeah, he's going to be having some heart scan and crap tomorrow. He says he's been having chest pain radiating down his arm. So probably the smartest thing to do is get drunk all weekend and start fighting to jack up your blood pressure.
I wish myself to have a heart attack all the time... maybe he should be the one.
Work can't get here soon enough tomorrow....
So let me give an example...
Of him and the older SD and her mentality and mental illness.
when I comes to Christmas stockings, I like to fill them with a few treats and like inexpensive beauty products the girls can use... disposable razors, fun scented deodorants, lip gloss, body puffs. This year I found some fun sheet masks. I buy 3 one for each girl (which includes mine).
As soon as the H sees it, he flips out.. 'M' is going to get upset... she refuses to use cheap, sheet masks... she only wants skin care from South Korea.'
WTF?!? She's 15? She doesn't even wash her face twice a day and she only uses South Korean skincare?!? This is what I put up with! Him freaking out over something so stupid and these SDs ridiculous demands.
so I put it in her goddamn stocking anyways. If she don't like it, screw her... she can give it to someone else.
the younger one for avoiding me and not apologizing to me as directed by both parents? She's demanding an Apple Watch, Air Force one sneakers, lululemon yoga pants (she's 14, lazy and does not do yoga) and cash, not gift cards.
When the older one wants and is bored, she starts shit up... like costing her parents the $1500 when she knew the day she had to cancel by, hardcore lying... for example she said I told her the ending to the movie they were watching last night. False.
She'll go to bed early during a get together and then scream for hours for everyone to shut the f up... yes, she uses the F word. She also mocks her grandmothers for their either lack of college or giving birth young. She's on meds that she is not forced to take regularly as well. She needs stronger meds and therapy and possible time in an institution. His brother was bipolar and killed himself 20 years ago
WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!
Who knows what is wrong with
Who knows what is wrong with these people? But... humanity would benefit with the end of the propagation of this gene pool.
smh
So pack a bag, transfer your
So pack a bag, transfer your money to your account so your DH doesn't have access to it, and pack a bag for the week. You are an adult and have the freedom to disappear. If you've prayed to be alone, then go be alone. I can't blame you for wanting that.
Our funds
have always been separate, especially since we've both been previously married and because he still pays child support to the idiot he made children with.
First, do not pick the Skid
First, do not pick the Skid up for the dentist appointment. You are not the free beck and call Skid Uber.
Second, hit the stop button on this nightmare. Do not rewind, do not fast forward. Just stop. Go shopping for a new single lady house, reconnect with the RLZ you like being and start living the live you enjoy living again.
Just be sure to learn from this mistake and make sure that you are hyper tuned to detect any of the charactertics that your hopefully STBXH has to avoid repeating any part of the mistake you are moving forward from. When you are ready the right love will come into your life and you will enjoy moving forward in life's adventure together.
Take care of you.
I have no intentions
Of needing another relationship at this point in my life. After 2 spouses... one who mentally and physically abused me... the other a drunk, I'd say what he did to me but I don't think this is the right forum, a horrible set of SDs...
I'd rather just go it alone and not have to go through this over and over again until I'm dead. Maybe I attract the wrong people so the best thing to do is to not make the mistake again.
I completely understand your
I completely understand your desire to stay single. Me too. Single has been far better for me than encumbered.
I suppose on some level I am
I suppose on some level I am a romantic. I enjoy who I am whether I am alone or with a partner. But....for me life has a zest with an amazing partner that seasons the joy I have when I am alone.
Good luck to you and take care of you.
I’m one too
I think there's nothing more romantic than being a team and accomplishing things in life together.
but when it seems like you have no luck, sometimes you just have to realize it will never happen for you.
46 is too young to give up on
46 is too young to give up on the dream.
I just looked at your biog,
I just looked at your biog, and you say you are 40 something. This is by no means too old to start again - I left my first marriage after 24 yrs, at the age of 44 and never regretted it. You say you want to pack a bag and throw it in your truck - what in heaven's name is stopping you? Just do it - now!
Yes...
I'm 46.
i guess I'm feeling like I no longer have the capacity to share anything with others anymore... especially self-absorbed, self-entitled children that aren't even mine.
and the funny thing is, I work with the public, including kids a lot, and I enjoy it.
I've recently been diagnosed with RA and I'm in pain and tired a lot and maybe I don't need this kind of life. Stress is not good for RA.
so tonight, the H and I are sleeping in separate areas and he wants to continue that tomorrow.
Fine. Maybe I'm getting my freedom for Christmas. Right about now, I don't care if he filed and said I'm horrible. I'll just take some of his funds or at this point, I don't give a care whether I get anything and be done with him and his insane family.
You haven’t ruined your life.
You haven’t ruined your life. You are (hopefully) making a brave new step to a new one, it just takes a little bit of courage.
Take it day by day.
We have every right to be upset when we feel people have treated us unfairly, but don’t forget that we can create solutions for ourselves so you don’t get ‘stuck’.
Don’t forget to save for that ‘rainy day’.
that's how you feel right now..of course
Of course you feel like you could never find a great partner, because of the situation you are in right now. Agree you have not ruined your life - and do get out asap. Be alone for awhile, focus on yourself and take life as it comes. I got divorced after 18 years, at 41 and remarried very happily at 44. Not saying that being single isn't ok too. It is far better than being with a drunk loser and his shitty kids. You deserve better!
Sweetie, you have NOT ruined
Sweetie, you have NOT ruined your life. You took an unfortunate detour down a crappy alley.
YOU CAN CHANGE THAT!!!
You are not a taxi service and these skids are not in danger. So.
Tell Drunkie McDrunkerson that HE can take HIS kids to the dentist. If he cannot, then HE can contact HIS exw and SHE can take HER kids to the damn dentist.
BLOCK BM. In fact, block the skids, too. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
And 46 is YOUNG! My Dad remarried at the youthful age of 86 to a 84yo bride. It's never too late to find love! But first, you need to fall back in love with yourself. {{{HUGS}}}
F@CK
So here I am... with these ungrateful SDs at the dentist and not a thank you from my H or his Ex. And now the day before Christmas Eve they want me to take them shopping for their mother??? Shouldn't gramma do that?!?
To teach them a lesson, I told them I do not want anything from them as I know it's not a genuine gesture.
I said if anything you need to start treating your elders with some gosh damn respect because y'all come across as total b&tches and nobody likes those types.
But I'm so done with them... they do not even want to come over on Christmas Day so I might just keep their gift cards for myself and they can just have the cheap gifts in their stockings.
I have no clue why
I had to sneak out of work early to take them. Their mom and boy toy were home all day with them and my other, shittier half has been home after a day of heart testing.
im not taking them shopping... I'm dropping them off and I think I'm just going for a long drive.
Petronella is right: you
Petronella is right: you chose to do this.
Please drop them off, take that long drive, and seriously consider WHY you do this. You are bloody miserable and the only one who can change that is YOU.
I have a dead husband who was
I have a dead husband who was an alcoholic, and another previous long-term serious relationship with an alcoholic. Current SO is not so great and although definitely not an alcoholic overuses drink and cannabis (avoidance and numbing and habit more than addiction, IMVHO).
All that to say: you are the only person who can rescue you. NO ONE ELSE IS COMING.
Those kids are not your job. You are on this forum calling your husband names and wishing you were dead. If that's not a wake-up call and an eye-opener, not sure what is.
2019 sucked. 2020 is a year of renewal and moving forward. I am gathering my own courage to GTFO of my relationship that isn't yet where yours is, and I know how hard it is for me. You can do it.
Say no.
No to the kids. No to the BM. No to the shitty husband.
Say yes to yourself. Who gives a rat's ass at this point if you ever find another person after this one? Sure, it will be lonely at times, but good lord. How's it working out for you right now?
Side note: this pep talk is as much for me as it is for you. Let's leave these assholes together and give ourselves the more we deserve on our own.