Disgusted at the sight of SS10, After the CPS Debacle -I'm Leaving Future DH
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Unfortunately I am stuck in the house with him (SS10) for the day.
CPS decided his two week grounding was too harsh and paid for him to start summer camp next week.
He also can receive virtually no discipline in the home now.
What kind of system puts children in control?
I am disgusted by him and am getting ready to break my engagement.
Any advice?
I am very concerned that
I am very concerned that he'll lie. I know it's sad to say but I am hoping he attempts to run away again so that I can call the cops because they said he'll be taken to juvenile hall if he runs again.
Sounds crazy! Me - I would
Sounds crazy! Me - I would leave and not look back. Wish I had in the begininng, but my red flags never came until it was too late...
You are already in a bad place and you are not even married....
I don't want to watch him but
I don't want to watch him but my fiance doesn't have a sitter so I'm stuck until they start sending him to camp on Monday. Ugh. I cant believe CPS is siding with the child over the parent. They also told us to involve him in the rules and rewards process. I was like WTF?! Who is running things?
Yes, I was railroaded. I woke
Yes, I was railroaded. I woke up to my fiance saying " Don't say anything to him" and then leaving for work.
Pardon my French BUT HOW THE
Pardon my French BUT HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU SET RULES IF YOU CAN'T BACK THEM UP WITH CONSEQUENCES!?! :jawdrop:
I am in the room now with the
I am in the room now with the door closed and locked. We are not to speak to each other. I'm not even sure if he is in the house. I don't trust anything about this kid and I can't wait until my plane ticket has been purchased and I am headed back to my home state.
:/ It's sad, but I totally
:/ It's sad, but I totally beleive this. I offered to drive my daughter to the sherrif's house two streets away yesterday. You see, I was abusing her by making her do excersize for 4 1/2 minutes. How did she come to this conclusion? Her therapist during her hospitalization told her it was.
WHAT?! Are you serious? Who
WHAT?! Are you serious? :jawdrop: Who are these people? The social worker who was here yesterday wasn't much older than me and I am in my twenties. She has no children of her own but is permitted to create parenting plans for my fiance's kid. This is bananas. Did you daughter's therapist speak to you before making such a serious allegation?
Did you daughter's therapist
Did you daughter's therapist speak to you before making such a serious allegation?
Of course not, though it wasn't the therapist she has now, but rather the staff therapist at the hospital she was in. This woman was easily in her 40s.
Wow, that's totally
Wow, that's totally inappropriate. She's old enough to know better.
That's messed up but I have
That's messed up but I have to ask, what kind of FDH would put you in that position?? He knows what's going on yet he leaves you with his youngin anyway, basically leaving you a sitting duck for CPS? No way. Yeah, time to drop him. You don't want to marry into this kind of drama.
SS10 is normally left in the
SS10 is normally left in the house alone every day and I am just visiting so I just ended up watching him. My fiance had been taking him to work with him but his boss asked him to stop. We can't just leave him alone now because a file is open with cps and more charges could be added.
No, there aren't any charges
No, there aren't any charges against me. Thank God. I don't have a car right now, so I am stuck until my fiance comes home. I really hate this kid. I know that is so wrong but I truly do.
Not in this area but I
Not in this area but I alerted the case worker.
Stupidvisor just made me lol.
Stupidvisor just made me lol. I am going to phone her and ask her about that right now.
Yeah, she goes "he needs an
Yeah, she goes "he needs an outlet and some leeway for misbehavior." I said "we gave him leeway and he ran away three times and told outrageous lies and now he is being catered to; he has learned that if he lies enough he will be rewarded with silenced caregivers, summer camp, outside privileges and suspended punishment."
Really, could I call her
Really, could I call her supervisor? I didn't know I could. Originally FH asked them to remove him from the home but they forced him on us.
They forced him on FH by
They forced him on FH by saying "he's your responsibility." They asked me if I planned to be around permanently and I said "I don't see a high probability of that right now, so it's probably best that therapy and all cps intervention assume that I won't be." My FH looked crushed and was very upset afterward.
OMG dog person that sounds
OMG dog person that sounds like my FH. He's joking around with the kid and calling him buddy and I'm thinking: this kid is a little terror! He called the police on you, got you charged with child abuse and lied to the police so many times that the last set of officers have threatened to put him in the clink if they get one more call from this home.
CPS has given all the power to kids and you are exactly right; the parenting is totally lax now. It's like FH is afraid of his own child.
That's despicable. SS10 is an
That's despicable. SS10 is an idiot because his dad is his only parent. I feel for bio parents who really care because I don't know how a parent is expected to thrive when their child can at any time have them arrested.
Yes, they can. I wonder if
Yes, they can. I wonder if that applies to kids 10+. I called a group home for information on intake.
It's where troubled young
It's where troubled young people in need of adult supervision are placed. They all live there together with a few counselors.
Video record him. I'm worried
Video record him. I'm worried for you. This kid has been given too much power. Shame shame shame on this broken down system of ours!!!! I'm so sorry. Invest in video recorders. Does your cell phone record? If so keep handy & record any & all convos you have with him!!
Thank you for your advice! I
Thank you for your advice! I am leaving this relationship. I can't take SS10's behavior or my fiance's violent temper anymore. I am looking forward to going home to my family.
Hi Sueu, I left yesterday
Hi Sueu,
I left yesterday after he blamed me for his son's behavior and asked me to - see my new thread-. I am back home now. I overdrew my account to pay for the ticket and he drove me to the airport. He cried but was kind and let me go. I am very happy to be with my family and will not be going back. Thank you so much for checking on me and for all the information; it feels good to know I have support. God bless you!
Leave. Now. While. You.
Leave. Now. While. You. Can. You will move on. You'll be fine. Just leave.
Pack your stuff now and when
Pack your stuff now and when Daddy walks up the sidewalk you walk down it. Hand him the front door key as you pass by.
I had a out-of-control kid and my wife and I just abandoned him at a psychiatric hospital. At the end of a 30 day stay the insurance ran out and they wanted to discharge him. We simply refused to show up. We were threatened with criminal child abandonment but once they took the kid they realized why we could not control him. He simply did what he wanted - there was no punishment that could control him.
Decades later as the brain became better understood I now realize he simply had no impulse control. He saw it - he wanted it (or to do it) - he did it. His brain is unable to process future consequences. Sad really - he's an alcoholic in Las Vegas today, presently in jail I believe.
That is a big issue with Dh's
That is a big issue with Dh's supposed spawn as well. NO IMPULSE CONTROL. NONE!!! It truly is like the lights are on but nobody's home. He acts like a wild animal. He wants it, he gets it, if it means climbing on the kitchen table, jumping onto the counter and climbing in to a cabinet like a freakin monkey, he does it. If he wants to do something, it matters not that he shouldn't, he just does it. Delusional MIL calls it strong willed, I call it totally out of control. I fully expect him to end up in a psych ward and the sooner the better. 2 more years before the hospitals around here will take him and I don't think I can last that long.