Christmas ..... arrangements .... GF BD ....
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, we've been good friends for 19 years. Her divorce was final in January... Her and her ex... have 3 kids- ... 2 4 and 7.
Her BD has a new GF and he is also aware that she is with me..... He quit his job... to work on his business.... and told her that he can't afford to "compete" with her for xmas- so she told him the big gifts can be from mommy and daddy.... 1, when did it become a competion... 2- what is he point of a divorce if we're still doing things together? ... i mean them. Just BARELY, he has decided to man up.... and that I'm welcome to be there at HIS appt xmas morning.... as well his gf will be..... that's good and great... i'm thankful he deided to let down that gate.....
I just thought .... we've been explaining to the kids they get TWO christmas's ... TWO Birthdays... .TWO ...everythings .... but apparently we can't get away from it.The situation is a little extra heatd becase of prior issues.... her taking care of financial things for him... because he can't ... and becase she doens't want her kids to have a deadbeat father....
I am definatley ranting .... because I'm upset..... just needed to vent.
I am fully aware he isn't going anywhere ever....and thats fine....
I just wonder.... what is it i'm fighing for wtih her....
She chooses to be, and it
She chooses to be, and it sounds like she will always be, enmeshed with him. You just have to decide if that's something you can live with.
I can see the usefulness of
I can see the usefulness of parents truly sharing big gifts - ie, combining funds to buy one big present that the kid wants. But there is no need for them to be together on Christmas or for her to foot the whole bill and say it's from him, too.
I'd have a conversation with her and see if she's willing to explore further her need to rescue him, supposedly on her kids' behalf.
My experience is that it
My experience is that it takes time for divorced parents to fully live separately. Most still do things for each other after the divorce. After a while they may start to do things separately but there is a lot of guilt to begin with and wanting to keep things “stable” for the kids by continuing to do things together.
You have to decide if you want to stick around to see if they split emotionally as well as physically/legally.
If it is just the Christmas gifts I would stay around, though it is probably more than just this from your reaction.
Cut your losses and leave
Cut your losses and leave this non adult to stay enmeshed with their X.
Good luck