Hello everyone, I'm new to the site. I just wanted some opinions on my family's situation. I'm not yet a step mom, but I'm very concerned with my long-term boyfriend's 6 year old son. I will just refer to him as my step son. BM and BF have 50/50 custody and they switch every week.

SS is complaining that his BM is not paying enough attention to him since the birth of his BM's new baby daughter. The BM has quit work to take care of the baby for a few months now. The BM also lives with both of my SS's grandparents. Two weeks ago (on BM's week), my boyfriend received a call from BM saying that my SS is not listening to her, and that he's crying, and she doesn't know what to do. BM said that SS said "When does the baby ever sleep??" My boyfriend discussed it with me right after their conversation, and he said that he suggested to the BM to spend some time with their son, take him for a walk or just play with him for a little while. To which her reply was, "I just don't have time." I'm not a biological mother, so I can't say it's impossible to not have time with a new baby in hand, but I think since she is out of work, and has a house full of relatives, and her new daughter's father lives with her, it wouldn't be so hard to spend an hour or even 30 minutes with my SS.

She has always refused to meet with me, so I don't know her personally. I only know what my boyfriend and SS tell me about her. She's always been a great mom, so it's surprising to hear that she seems so overwhelmed to the point that she doesn't even want to try to spend some time with my SS.

My SS was supposed to be at his mother's house yesterday, but he asked to stay with us overnight. BM let him go. He said that he was bored at his mom's. He's never complained of that before, he would always say that it's fun over there when I ask him. My boyfriend told BM that she might be in a world of trouble if she lets him run to us whenever she can't handle him.

My boyfriend keeps asking me if this is damaging his son, and I told him that I don't know but it's normal for his son to be jealous of the BM's new baby.. although it's weird to hear that the BM doesn't even want to exert effort to relieve their son's fears or bad feelings. Should we give BM time to correct herself? I don't want my SS to be taken away from his mother, but if she's constantly not going to treat him fairly, should my boyfriend take action in getting full custody? Or is it too early to say that this will affect my SS permanently?

Again, I'm new so I'm not really an expert in using the step parenting terms. Is there such a thing as "future step mom"? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.