Abusive stepson
It's a long story but I'll make it as short as I can I've know my step son since he was five and I've treated him like my own( used to tell him when he was naughty I don't anymore!), and over tried at times, spoilt him sometimes more than my own children, just try to get him to like me.. I have two children of my own and my partner has two when we met my eldest step son is good he's on and off but stuffers from mental health issues from my other step sons mum when she used to live with him anyway he lives with me and his dad full time now. My other sept son who the question is about, is the one the problems have been with he's really aggressive and angry all the time, extremely spoilt by both his mum and dad I don't suspect and fowl play with either of them no abuse etc so he's not acting out through that. He has beaten my children, my nephew up serveral times and argues with them they are at least two years and younger than him. He calls me a fat f&c@ing p;)ick and other swear words all the time over nothing or maybe because I've said no or because I've asked him not to call my sons. He's made threats towards me and tried to smash a glass window to go for me, he's filmed my underwear drawn and my belongings to show his mum. I have videos were he says he wants to hit me, but nothing has gone on at the time it's always out of no where. I'm always polite as everything I say to him no matter what it is he Tells his mum I've said something nasty and she phones having a go at dad. It's getting worse and worse and unbearable to live with but I adore my partner and we have a child together who doesn't deserve seperated parents just because of his brother behaving this way. My partner does try (sort of) but I'm not sure what else he can do? My step sons mum is a social worker, he obviously suffers with his mental health badly As he is never happy I've not seen him laugh or smile in years, but unsure what to do??? Ive tried so much to make him happy I've told dad to try things but nothing seems to work please help!
"My partner does try (sort of
"My partner does try (sort of) but I'm not sure what else he can do? "
WHAT?! How about he stops spoiling the kid rotten and actually PARENTS him? He "sort of" tries to deal with his kid? How old is this child? Time to stop trying to make him happy, get him evaluated for his mental health issues, and deal with them accordingly. In the meantime, how about giving him consequences for his appalling behaviour? He's beaten up your kids and has threatened you AND you have proof - take that down to the local police station. You should be more worried about your kids getting beaten up than about your wee one growing up with separated parents. Please get your priorities right - your first duty is to ensure your children's safety. In other words, either you leave and you take your childen with you or your SS leaves.
He's only 10 but. he knows a
He's only 10 but. he knows a lot of stuff he shouldn't know for his age and it's through his mum, my eldest step son is 13 who I raise and he doesn't know half the things the 10year old does. My children don't get left alone with him now after he beat them up. It is hard as do you throw it all away for a basically spoilt kid? One child effects 4 other children who live here all the time, he only comes at weekends, causes hell and then goes home pleased with himself
Your DH needs to see him
Your DH needs to see him outside the home. This is unacceptable. He's only going to get bigger and stronger and further terrorize your children. He should not be coming over if safety is a concern.
Nobody is telling you to
Nobody is telling you to "throw it all away". There are couples on here who live separately due to stepchildren issues. You could also refuse to have him in your home at all so his father would have to see him elsewhere but not in your home. There are other solutions than divorce ... It's up to you to find what works for you and your family.
Welcome to the site!
You should not have to deal with this, and more importantly, nor should your biological child/ren have to live in fear. Your first duty is to protect any biological child of yours - so my advice is to separate and find a safe place for your own kids.
My partner does try (sort of)
My partner does try (sort of) but I'm not sure what else he can do?
Do or do not. There is no try. (Yoda)
Seriously, your partner is endangering everyone in the house, including the one causing the problems, if he does not find a way to stop this destructive behavior. He might need guidance from someone who can help with parenting techniques for troubled children. Imagine the larger, stronger, teenage version of this child. Your partner needs to take action NOW. Not you, the actual parent has to deal with this.
Has the boy been evaluated for mental health issues? If not, do that immediately.
Until this boy's behavior is under better control, I would not let him near my children. If that means your partner has to take visitation outside of the house, ok.