50/50 custody and CS
I was commenting about this on a blog and thought, I want to share this on a new post and see if others can relate. I have two major HATE HATE HATES'S of being a SM, is this is the biggest -- CS for people who don't NEED it, they just of course WANT it. Sorry for the rant but this makes me SO FURIOUS when I let myself think about it!
I think when people divorce and have 50/50 custody, each should take care of the kids on their own budget to the best of their ability, within reason. If one parents is super struggling through no fault of their own, then I am okay with "helping". Otherwise, make a freakin budget and live within it like the rest of us!
CS LAWS SUCK and a lot of times creat GREEDY, ENTITLED BM's who work the system like blood sucking parasites.
I know because we of course are on the shitty end of this equation. We pay BM a ridiculous amount of money, even though we have 50/50 custody, because AFTER they divorced DH had the chops to get a new, more demanding, higher paying job. So of course now she gets her grimy mits on our $ to do things like, oh, get SD10's hair precision trimmed & mani/pedi's every other week, new toys/vid games for both SD and SS during each visit, meals at restaurants, etc etc. So nice for them!
Of course we had to cut down/out on such things because of the chunk of our discretaionary $ going to BM so that SHE can do these things with the kids. How's that for 50/50 fair?
BTW BM decided SHE needed to "be on her own" and left Skids with DH for the first year and half while she acted half her age going to bars and hanging with people half her age. Now she takes our money and has a ball being the fun parent who always says YES to every request for material things and restaurants.
has it been 3 years since the
has it been 3 years since the last cs adjustment?
It just doesn't seem right or
It just doesn't seem right or fair does it? It's so UNJUST. But it is the (f*cked up) law. We do have a true exact 50/50. And we live in California, not sure if it's different in different states.
We've been married 2 years and DH was dragged to court 1.5 yrs ago to start paying CS. What a shock, he gets remarried and THEN all the sudden she needs CS. Nobody's job or finances changed. She just realized she COULD get a big chunk of CS and the f-ed up court system awarded it because it's based on income.
This is how DH got rewarded for getting a more demanding, higher paying job! I can see how some men would just say, screw it, why should I work harder and get paid more only to have a bunch of it go into BM's bank account. It's SICKENING and unfair. Believe me if there was any legal way to get this changed, we would do it in a heartbeat. If we had to pay a $500/hour shark lawyer, we would! But it's not an option.
Sorry, I mean to say, HER JOB
Sorry, I mean to say, HER JOB and finances never changed, his did -- he gets paid more. In California, the things that go into CS are custodial time and both incomes. So even though we have 50/50, since he now gets paid a lot more, she gets her filty mitts on our money.
At this point all I can do is try not to let it burn me too much --I mainly don't let myself think about it. I just hope that someday karma gets her back somehow for using the system to rape our bank account just because she CAN.
Any sympathy or goodwill I had towards this woman DISAPPEARED once she pulled this, believe me... I hope someday I can somehow make her feel some pain, SOMEHOW! }:)
Ha! This is so similar to
Ha! This is so similar to what's going on with us I actually burst out laughing at the computer.
Our BM has a six digit trust fund. I'm not kidding you. And we are paying her child support. We also have the kids more often than she does, but since they sleep at her house she is considered the primary caretaker.
Go freaking figure.
Since the divorce, she has:
Bought the boys one of those bounce palace things
Replaced all her kitchen appliances and washer and dryer
Bought a trampoline
Bought three flat screen TVs
Gone to Florida on vacation (without the boys, of course)
Gone to Disneyland (without the boys, again)
Spent twenty thousand dollars dragging FDH into court every other day
Since the divorce, FDH has:
moved in with a friend because he couldn't afford his apartment
downgraded vehicles three times
picked up a second and third job
filed bankruptcy
represented himself in court because he could no longer afford a lawyer
Child Support laws are INSANE. It's completely sexist. I'm absolutely horrified by what's going on in the court system.