SD chore advice--help!
I am a relatively new "step parent". I moved in with my boyfriend and his daughter of 10 6 months ago. While the mini wife thing is frustrating enough, I am losing my patience with the coddling and non discipline.
SD is NOT given chores and won't even clean her room. I think this is unacceptable. She is 10-she needs to learn responsibility and help around the ouse. I bring it up and BF gets mad. When I am clearly upset about having to clean up a mess SD made and she gets all pretend upset and runs to her dad he says- oh don't worry it's ok. It's NOT ok. Why am I cleaning it up while she gets babied?? If we say one thing she doesn't like and she pouts he cuddles her and hugs her and tells her oh we're sorry. WTF? I don't understand this. I get I am NOT a BM so maybe I cannot relate but I live here and I am sick of cleaning up her messes [as I can't bear them] and tantrums while she is told "don't worry about it" and getting hugged. When she throws a tantrum and my BF says he will take something away from her if she speaks back again- he never follows through. That is also frustrating.
When I try and interject what I think about how the situation should be handled my BF gets upset and retorts with "how dare you try and correct my parenting".
Please help- any advice is welcome. I am frustrated and regretful that I am in this situation. I never wanted to be a mom and I am happy to not take full responsibility but when it comes to shared spaces I feel I deserve a say.
i compltly get you!! Ive
i compltly get you!! Ive resorted to (in communal areas ony) any toys or kid thing that is not cleared away before they go then I will bin it, and I followed through with it. Ive left their bedroom for their dad to do and yes it has been a bombshell of a room when theyve left but when they are back hes finally realised that its hard to find any sort of toy or find their PJ's and clothes, its just easier to get them tidy up before they leave.Also we have a cat and she loves to sit on their beds in the day time, so if he doesnt cover their beds with the pet blanket, then skids beds are nice and hairy for them!its a hard lesson for the skids to learn as they are young but I am not their parent and all of these extras which are hard work and time consuming I am not doing. I get no love and no appreciation from them or their dad so why the hell should I.
Tell DH to do it or just leave it and look after yourself. If he wants to raise a brat then let him but let him know that you are not tidying up after her. I know its hard because its communual areas but do what I do, if theres cups of bowls from her, i wash everything up other than their things, I leave them where they are! and then DH has to wash them when they need them, he now tidys up and gets the skids to put their bowls and plates etc in the sink and they are 3 and 6!