Disney Daddy's solution to a problem!
Gosh. I posted this already and I don't know where it went :(.
Anyways, last week I left my home for three days after being woken up by SD7 untils 5am before I had work because she refuses to sleep alone and comes into our room every hr trying to wake him up etc. We had a gigantic fight. My fiance thinks I should be compromising more on this issue and basically bending over backwords.
So while I was gone contemplating leaving.. He made a deal with her that she could sleep in our room in our bed with my dog. And tht is what she has 'agreed' to.(I didn't know 7 yr old kids had choices like this). WITHOUT consulting ME in OUR HOME. The prob is that she says she is scared bc we are in the third floor and she is on the second. so she says if someone breaks in they will get her first.
I literally am getting that sick feeling we all get thinking about her coming tomorrow.
She recently stole from the mall so i told him last week she is not allowed in my room AT ALL. There is nothing in there for her.
Two things she said to me. "Your not sleeping with daddy, I am." while he wasnt around.
and on christmas "I am sleeping in daddy's bed now, its my room."
I am so sick of this crap i am up to my ears. Please can someone offer some advice on wth to do with this kid?! I refuse to sacrifice my bed and my room for her. I am not budging on it.
and I am at the point now that I am going to lay the rules down for her bc walt disney isn't doing it. I tried to talk to him last night, told him straight I am not sleeping in her bed ever..and he is mad and defensive saying I should compromise... Well in 6 months how in the hell are we going to get her outta our room?!
What can we do to transition her betteR? She stayed with Bm for two extra weeks refusing to come to my house saying unless dadddeeee sleeps with her shes not coming?> omg
I let the dog sleep with her
I let the dog sleep with her already and yes he is a pitbullxgerman sheperd and protects woman and kids like its his duty in life lol!
Which I already compromised with and I am the animal queen and he is my side kick.
My fiance was not really okay with me leaving the home, but I told him to figure out a way to get her into her bed, and that it may be easier for him to do it when I am not there.
I am seriously convinced it is some weird animosity towards me?! Maybe thats just our defensive first thoughts as step moms... He is trying to satify the sd7 by not letting her sleep with him, and he doesn't know what to do.
She treatened last time that she doesn't want to come see him unless he sleeps with her and so this was his solution. The third floor is solely our room and bathroom. No other rooms up there.
What else can he do?
The first night she did come back etc. I was upstairs, he slept on the couch until 11pm ish and then he came to bed at which point she must have noticed he wasn't in the living room and she started the 6 hour argument with him all night long. Even trying to sneak in btw us.
She is coming tomorrow and I need a solution because I told him I am not leaving unless its for good, and she is not taking my only hiding area from me.
The sleeping on the second
The sleeping on the second floor alone is a rational fear. That needs to be sorted. But no, she doesn't get your room and your bed and the dog in it.
Put your boyfriend out. Tell him until he reassures her that she is safe, a night light, a torch, whatever he can sleep elsewhere everytime she's over. His child, he makes the compromises, she never gets your room. If he sleeps on the couch when she's there, tell him to,stay on the couch all night, no sneaking back to our bed. If he is being put out out of his bed he might start to,address her fears. A lot of 7 year olds have fears it's not necessarily the case her mother has put her up to it at all. Anyway even if she did, it doesn't help to use your energy hating the BM. All your energy needs to go into resolving the problem, your problem, your boyfriend allowing her to,disturb you, so you put him out when she sleeps over. His problem addressing her fears.
Perhaps a cordless phone that works as a baby monitor or even a baby monitor itself might help her if she knows he can hear what's happening in her room she might feel reassured.
Tell your boyfriend that the
Tell your boyfriend that the bedroom is an adult private area. Children will be sleeping elsewhere. Then do what many adult people do in the privacy of their own bedroom. SLEEP IN THE NUDE. That should put a stop to the little princess wanting to sleep in your bed.
No way she gets to chose to
No way she gets to chose to have your room. She's engaging in emotional manipulation. Give me what I want or I won't love you. When my bio kids tried this I would say something like I'm really sorry you feel that way. I love you but it'sy job to do what's best for you.
Yes all very true! I guess he
Yes all very true! I guess he has to realize it will take many times of this happening to get her to sleep solo without any fuss... I know it is a process but thank god you all are agreeing that I should not have to make this big sacrifice!
Hollowpoints you actually
Hollowpoints you actually just wrote how I feel...
I am taking this so seriously because I think she is really tryin to run my house in competition with me and I have spoken to my SO and said listen, you have two seperate relationships here. One with your daughter and one with me and those have to be distinguished yesterday or this is not going to run in the right direction!
I agree, she is in
I agree, she is in competition with you. Why does dad allow it. You need to stand your ground on this, if she gets your bed at 7, what does she get at 17 and it never ends. It gets worse. They are still doing it at 27 37 and 47. There is a poster on here who's sd is 50. She and her husband have separated over a fifty year old sd. But I don't think you should make more problems for yourself by building resentment towards the child or her mother. Your partner has full control here. BM can tell her daughter to put snakes in your bed, your dh should remove the snakes and rip into his daughter,then ban her from ever bringing snakes to your home again. But your dh is the type to make excuses, to tell you your over reacting to the snakes. Your dh is the type to let his daughter run the roost. Not his daughters fault. That's his. If your dh is scared his daughter will stop speaking to him, or his ex won't let her visit. That's his fault, not the ex's. Your real problem is your dh. He is the one causing all this drama.