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Baby Blues

FirstLady's picture

Someone recently asked what the baby blues feels like. Well, I spent most of Mother's Day in tears. It's really starting to get to me. My mom is still living, but she is in another state. We spoke and she always lifts my spirits but, I just couldn't shake it yesterday. SO did the best he could to plan a day to make me feel special for being a "Mother figure" to his children but it just wasn't the same. I feel really bad for raining on his parade with all the crying and shit but he has children. I'm just glad it's over and I'm just making my way through another boring Monday. I don't have any friends in this situation hence the post. Most people I know won't get this.

RedWingsFan's picture

I'm sorry honey. I can't say I relate 100%, but my mother and I had a falling out over Christmas and haven't spoken since and my daughter lives 1300 miles away. My only grandma passed last June and DH's mom passed about 10 yrs ago. The only mother figure we have in our lives is his 87 yr old grandma.

Mother's Day was just another day for me. Sure, my daughter called but it's not the same as having her here with me. She'll be here next month for summer break.

SD is a bitch and is estranged from us so we don't have her around either.

Hope you're feeling better today.

RedWingsFan's picture

Good to hear. I am back to my normal shit today too. At work and wishing I were elsewhere!

SAHsigh's picture

I get it, completely. Mother's Day is a mixed bag. It's hard not to feel that way every time one of my sisters or girlfriends announces their pregnancies or the like. My sister-in-law and my partner's ex-wife informed us the same day that they were both pregnant; this was only last week! I waffle between tears and indifference. I would like to more than just a childless stepmom but I guess that's not really in the cards for me. At least my stepkids (boy/girl twins, 4 years old) love me as much as I love them. My partner is supportive of me and puts up with my occasional weepy day when this comes up...

This year I warned my partner weeks in advance that Mother's Day needed to be handled differently than it had in the past. (Last year was so bad that I don't even want to recount it -- needless to say, it involved many, many crying fits.). This year he did a much better job of filling that void more positively and with much gratitude. No crying fits this year and I ended the day feeling l loved, appreciated, and valuable.

Just don't think you're the only one; I'm right there with ya, sister. I hope next Mother's Day is a smoother day for you.

christinen's picture

I spent Mother's Day in tears too. My DH did absolutely nothing to acknowledge the fact that I raise his daughter (he's a guilty daddy and BM hardly ever takes SD- enough said). Just because I didn't push her out of my vagina doesn't mean I don't deserve some appreciation- SMs CHOOSE to do this. We are under no obligation to care for these kids. Anything we do for them is done because we WANT to do it. Their stupid parents should acknowledge that and be thankful instead of pretending what we do is not important. SMH!

Esmerelda's picture

Mothers day is hard. SKs always go to their mother's which is expected, but I raise them full time. I feel like I deserve the recognition but feel like an imposter too. This year, SS was home on mothers day morning, I got a "happy mothers day" while he was standing in the bathroom and I was in the kitchen. Then he went to his mother's. That was it. At least I got a present from SD. But my husband refuses to do anything for me on Mother's Day because I'm not his mother. Even when I point out that I'm raising his children. So I had to make mother's day dinner for my mum who came over, but I made it. And I've refused to do the dishes because they were from Mother's Day (petty I know, but I'm making a point). Its Friday and the dishes are still sitting there.

The best time I had on Mother's Day was when everyone was out of the house. Maybe that's the best Mother's Day present.

Smokey_Bear's picture

I absolutely dreaded Mother's day this year. Last year wasn't bad because we were still kind of newly dating and just getting serious. This year, we are living together with SS17 Full time, and SS10 (then)part-time. I have been having the "maternal clock" ticking, so to speak, and been thinking more and more about kids that I was sure we'd never have (at the time).

I dreaded it so much, I made myself sick the days coming up, I saw anyone and their kids as a stab to my feelings. It was brutal.

I slept rough that night before, and to my surprise, woke up to SS10 handing me a glass of orange juice and a larger than life hand made card. He'd drawn my kitten in purple (my fav color) and wrote that he hoped one day I would be his mom.

I was so surprised and shocked, I cried off an on all day, and thought that everything I put up with for SO and his Skids, was worth it for even rare moments like that.

<3