Will the BM ever go away and leave my DH alone?
I'm new to this site but it looks like a great place to get some perspective from others. Here's the current issue: my DH has 4 grown children ranging in age from 20 to 25. The 2 oldest were grown by the time we were married and the 2 youngest came to our house on weekends and during the summer when they were in high school. I thought the control issues with BM would go away once they were all grown and doing their own thing but no....
While the kids were in high school, BM never sent any pictures or communication to my DH's family. In fact, her communication even with us was extremely limited and 99% of the time we found out about activities and functions after the fact. A year ago my SD had her first child and before my DH could even make it to the hospital, BM e-mailed pictures of the baby to my DH's family. Recently, the SS was featured on the local evening news. A link for the production was put on Facebook so grandparents, aunts and uncles could all see. However, BM once again stepped in and e-mailed the link to DH's family - even though they had already seen it on Facebook.
I can see continuing the communication if it had been there all along - however, it wasn't. I think BM is psycho and my DH needs to call her and tell her to cease the e-mails and jump off a cliff. DH doesn't understand why I care if she's in communication with his family. I would like anyone else's opinion on this.
Well, look at it this way.
Well, look at it this way. This is HER grandchild, and she could just be acting as an excited grandmother might do.
Let her post away...but try not to let it bother you. Yeah, she's doing it first, but does that really really matter in the grand scheme of things? Think about it. Your DH was going to the hospital to see his grandchild...he can take pictures as well and send them onto his family.
The answer to your original question, is NO! She will never stop being the BM to DH's children. That is something that won't change, unless the children are no longer in the picture. It's a fact of life.
Does your DH's family object to being contacted by her with the information? If it doesn't bother them, I'd just let this one go. As far as the Facebook link she mailed, again, take it with a grain of salt. It's not really worth it who sends out the info, JUST so the info is sent out and reached.
That's just my 2 cents worth. Enjoy that grandbaby & spoil, spoil spoil!!!
~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~
(No subject)
My question would be, why
My question would be, why don't your DHs GROWN CHILDREN contact him about the things that are going on in their lives BEFORE the BM does???
After all, they are not little kids, right? They do, presumably, know how to use a phone and call their dad?
So the question is, why aren't they? Why are they not keeping him (and you) in the loop about the important events in their lives?
If I were you (and your DH) I'd be more upset with the adult "children" than I would be with the BM for not reaching out to their father.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
The kids do talk to my DH -
The kids do talk to my DH - there's no issues there. That's another reason I find BM's actions so irritating. There is absolutely nothing psycho BM has communicated or sent to my DH's family that was needed. Everything she has done they either already had or would have had shortly.
Here's another kicker to the story - when she sends out these communications, she sends them to her boyfriend and my DH's family but doesn't send them to her own family....
She is doing it as their
She is doing it as their mother i guess.... she may feel obligated to do it.
Either that or she is doing it to get under your skin. Screw her! Don't let her keep you upset and angry. Over look her and take it as one less thing you and DH have to do.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
She's just sending pictures.
She's just sending pictures. She's not communicating with him. Be thankful for that. I really don't see an issue here. If it bothers your DH that much, he can change his email address. This is something he can control.
We finally got husbands ex
We finally got husbands ex under control but it took 3x calling the police on her... keeping all the reports. The last time we had to call on her they went to her house and warned her... next time she bothered us in any way she would in fact go to jail.
Since then she has really stopped bugging us.