Stepson Issues.
I have been with my wife for 22 years.When i met her she had a 1 year old son who i took on as my own child.
We have 3 other children together.
Since the age of 14 years my stepson Started Smoking dope and hanging around with like wised teenagers.
He is 23 this year and is still living in our home.
He has to be woken every morning, he does not take care of himself, he sleeps every night in his clouths and it is days before he takes a bath and only when he has been told to do so by his mother.
He relys on dope and drinks most days. He walks around our home making a mess, i am constantly telling him to clean up after himself.
Its like he just does not listen to anything i tell him.
We have had many verbal fights that have almost become pysical if not for his mother sticking up for him.
She finds it almost impossible to disipline him and when i do, she disiplines me!!
He is lazy, but very clever at getting his own way with Mom.
I want him out of our home but my wife refuses to take the step to do this.
My wife and i are always fighting because of him. He will never raise his voice to her, but will with me. Like he is trying to push me to breaking point.
My other 3 children are all good kids..one at Uni, the other two are in college. They know what they want out of life and are doing their best to get there..But my SS is lazy, with no outlook on life and always seems to rely on his mother for help with everything.
Its like he is trying to make me leave my family home..Everytime i try to talk with my wife, she takes his side...I feel now that i am at the end our mariage...I know my wife loves me, but she love her Son more, yet she is supposed to be spending the rest of her life with me...not her Son.
I am slowly getting worn out and feel depressed most of the time. My wife has tried to set some rules, but she does not follow them up which in my eyes give the SS a green light to carry on the way he is...HELP HELP HELP.
Kick his ass to the curb and
Kick his ass to the curb and deal with the repercussions later. No one should have to put up with this.
Many thanks for your reply. I
Many thanks for your reply.
I have had many talks with my wife on the issue of SS not progressing in life as long as she is forever there to carry him.
SS has gotton so used to being pamperd by mum, he relys on her for everything.
She gives him the softly softly approach, where as i am more Firm..This is where the arguments start between my wife and myself while SS walks off almost smirking at me as if to say you cant control me as long as mom is here to look out for me.
He even likes to play on the fact that he is depressed and lost in life...I just put it down to yet another excuse he uses to keep his mum worrying about what he will do if she was to ask him to leave...All she says is that he has knowhere to go and may do somthing stupid if she made him leave..
He can twist his mom around his little finger , but me he cant, and thats why we are always in each others faces......I am in his way, i wont let him do what he wants and that really gets to him...
I was raised by my Stepfather from the age of 4 years old, and not once did i ever show that man any dissrespect in any shape or form..I respected him for rescuing myself and my siblings when we were all small children.
If i could see for any reason that i was becoming a burdon on my parents relationship i would of made a point of moving out. SS can see what he is doing, but refuses to grow a pair of balls and move on and become a man.
I havent got anywhere to go is all you here from him..
I think i will be the one who moves on very soon as i cant take anymore of his Crap...Everything i have built with my wife over 20+ years is being destroyed by his Selfish attitude...I dont want to leave my wife, i dont want to leave my other 3 children..I just want SS to leave, but Wife wont allow it! She has even on many occasions Threatend to throw me out after heated arguments with Her son..its like i tell him off, then 5 seconds later Wife tells me off for telling him off !!!!! I am sure he enjoys listening to Mom and i arguing about him..How weird is that?
But if you give her the
But if you give her the ultimatum (above tuff cookie mom's ), make sure you follow thru with your plan, ie. have a place to move to for a few weeks in the event she decides to chose son over you. If your kids are in college and no other expenses are required by law from you, then make sure she (and her son since she choses him over you) get to pay all the bills and rent/mortgage. You rent a small place of your own. It might only be a temp situation if she realizes you mean business. Don't go back until he is OUT FOR GOOD tho or your ultimatum and ultimate power will go straight out the window in the whisper of your ss's smirks
Sorry to hear your in this situation but a lot of us smoms find ourselves in this situation too. It's not easy.