Step kids mother worried I would molest the kids?
I think I have mentioned this before, but not sure. Anyway, here it goes. Sorry if it is a repeat.
During a heated discussion with my stepson and his fiance last night, the subject of how my DH's kids are mad at their dad once again came up. They are still mad at him because he married me before they had a chance to meet me. This happened NINE years ago! Let it GO already!
Anyway, my DH had tried to get them to meet me before we married, but the EX would not allow it - until she had APPROVED me as fit to meet them. She was concerned I might be a child molester? :O
My DH and I had met on an online dating service, soon after his divorce, but despite this we had "veted" one another before we met. We are both mature adults and were capable to weed out weirdos - so when we met, we (he) knew I wasn't a child-molester!
The kids were 16 and 17 at the time, so if we met at a resturant, over lunch, in public, I was not going to be able to jump them and molest them! :O
My stepson and his fiance seemed rather patronizing when they mentioned this, the fact that my DH and I met online, through a dating service that is well known and even advertised on TV...this from two young people who grew up with the computer, and network with others on Facebook and have "befriended" a kazillion people? I would understand it better if they were "old" 
like us, with little or not experience with the computer - and had this concern.
So, have you had to be "approved" by your spouses EX to meet the OLDER kids?
UMMM...NO ....NO and NO. Your
UMMM...NO ....NO and NO.
Your DH is quite capable of determining who he will introduce his children to...They need to be told that it was THEIR MOM who refused to allow the meeting. And they need to get over it already! How long have you been married?
>>>So, have you had to be
>>>So, have you had to be "approved" by your spouses EX to meet the OLDER kids?<<<
Heck no.
Skids were 16 and 18 when DH and I got together. DH would have laughed in BM's face if she made such a ding-dong request. She could not have kept him from seeing his "kids", so there would have been nothing she could do to prevent me from meeting them anyway.
We did tell the kids that it
We did tell the kids that it was THEIR MOM who refused to allow me to meet them - unless she was allowed to pre-approve me, but the kids are making all sorts of excuses for their mother's weird behavior.
It is really sad how she manipulates them, and they don't even realize it. Of course they love their mother, but she uses this to get them to cover for her bad behavior.
My DH did tell her to take a flying leap at the time she said this to him. Good job honey!
Has your DH not told them
Has your DH not told them that EVEN IF they had met you before you married, it wouldn't matter because he would have married you whether they liked you or not...because really, kids do NOT rule the adult's life? So, WTH? Geez...that happens when parents allow their kids to tell them what to do...teach them when they are little that they do NOT have a say in YOUR business and they will not expect it...teach them they can control you, then this happens...obviously, in our cases, many times it's the BM feeding this crap to the kids...but your DH should tell them, if he hasn't already done so, that even if they had met you before, it would not have changed anything anyway...so they need to get over it.
PS - by the way, I'd make sure to tell them, my wife did not have to meet YOU before she decided if I was good enough for her, why should you be able to? heck, had she met YOU before, she might not have wanted to marry me lol }:)
Yes, the kids know he would
Yes, the kids know he would have married me even if they didn't approve. He married me despite his mother not approving.
She mostly didn't approve because it all happened so fast, and then later she didn't really like me because I wouldn't allow her to dominate me. Then we seemed to work things out. She would open up to my DH and me about things that she would never talk about to her daughter or others. She could be a very strong personality - but my DH husband was able to still grow up with a sense of being able to do his own thing and be his own person.
The stepkids mother is a very controlling person. She works for a company that has even paid for her to get training in how to manipulate people to agree to the companies position. She tries to use these same techniques on me and my DH.
She is intelligent, has a good job, is well paid, and should be living life well - but she can't seem to get on with her life! It has been nine years since my DH and I got married, yet the EX can't seem to get over it. The kids claim she has, but if you were at the wedding of my DH's daughter, you would have seen a real show from the EX! We even had other mature adults let us know that they saw and recognized her bad behavior! The kids are still in denial about it. Actually, we don't think they are capable of even recognizing it. They really are totally naive about how manipulative their mother is.
As time goes on, their mother will be getting into their married business also. Especially when the grandkids come along!
We are waiting to see that drama - it will be interesting. 
The first time the EX tried manipulating me with her "charm", she hit the WALL!I don't take that sort of crap from anyone!
You could see it in her face - the amazment that she wasn't able to get-over on me. I have that memory burned into my brain, and it has given me and my husband some chuckles over the years. He was there, and saw the whole episode himself.
Unfortunately, others are easily taken in by her charming way of controlling them. The daughter has learned the same tactics through her mothers modeling them. She gets really upset though when other people don't fall under the spell of her manipulations.
She can really have a temper tantrum! For as petite as she is, she can really yell and spew out a list of "rules" we are supposed to go by, on how we are to interact with her! (roll eyes)