SD23 Insisting on Marathon Daddy Sundays
So a couple of weeks ago my SO went out with SD23 for what I thought was a quick get together. Well since he hadn't seen her in almost a month he decided to spend more time with her. Mind you, he had already made plans with me to see a movie on this rainy Sunday and we were looking forward to spending the whole weekend together. As pissed off as I was I thought...he hasn't seen her in awhile and I have to admit, she has not been calling incessantly or making demands either. Originally he said he was on his way home but had to drop her off first (remember she lost her license for 90 days) and then would be back by about 2:00 pm. Well, 1:30 rolls around and he sends me a text saying, "SD23 wants to hang out for longer because I haven't seen her in a long time I'll see you at about 5:00." I was FURIOUS. I just texted back, "HAVE FUN." I assumed he knew how irritated I would be but I did want him to see her if it was what they wanted to do. I can be understanding to a point and if this was a frequent thing there is NO WAY I would tolerate it. This is not something that happens between us. Now, this weekend I have to do something on Sunday for about an hour and told SO this a little while ago but also said, I can do it early so we have the rest of the day together. He said that was a good idea. Then I said, so when I'm gone you'll probably just be working (he works from home and is very busy) huh? He said well actually SD23 wants to have lunch. So I said, I really don't want you to go because you'll be gone until 7:00 pm. Then he said, "Well I'll just have to make sure not to let that happen." With a wicked attitude voice.
What the hell is up with these marathon daddy days??? I don't know what the hell they are doing either! What would I do with my dad for 7 hours??????? When I was 23 I was out doing my own thing for sure and never demanded my father take that much time away. I am telling you, if she pulls this shit AGAIN on Sunday and he tolerates it...HEADS WILL ROLL!! He will be away all next week on business and I will be damned if he spends his last day with that entitled twit.
Eeew hahahaa omg
Eeew hahahaa omg
Honestly, Foxie, sometimes I
Honestly, Foxie, sometimes I read these demanding daughter posts and my first reaction is "why doesn't he just ____ her and get it over with?". My SIL is exactly like this with my FIL, and she has the stones to gripe to DW about being single at 30, and always asks to be set up with our friends. I point blank told her last weekend that I didn't have any friends that wanted to be second fiddle to her daddy.
See this is what I wonder to
See this is what I wonder to myself also. How are these "women" and yes I use the term loosely, expect to be in relationships and split the time up between their daddies and their boyfriends? SD23 has had boyfriends but I just wonder if her closeness to him freaks these guys out and they inevitably walk away because of that. I dated this guy for years that I swore was doing it with his mother (gross!). They were really close but it was just really disturbing, she reminded me of the mother in "Everybody Loves Raymond" She one time called MY cell phone when he was sick and made me go to the store and get all this shit for him because her little baby was sick. When I got back with all the crap I threw it at him and told him to call his mother then I slammed the door and walked out. Meanwhile, I am sick as a dog myself. That was the last time she ever bothered me with that. My bf at the time was mortified but not as much as I was!
This is the type of shit that
This is the type of shit that makes my head spin...I can't even believe this! Thank God you are not with this guy anymore! That behavior grosses me out big time. What's even more disgusting is these mothers ENJOY the attachment that their sons have to them! I just do not understand. But then again, I am not like that so I bet that's why. Love my dad I just don't think he necessarily wants to spend all day and all night with me every weekend. Somewhere along the line my parents actually became individuals and not just my "parents." Turns out they have a life...imagine that!
I remember when I was in my early 20's and I had just moved back from down south where I stayed for a bit. Anyway, it was my first place ALONE so I was a little nervous. I remember calling up my mother and confessing to her that I felt I was leaving them behind and worried that they were going to be really sad if I wasn't there anymore. I pretty much had to hold the phone away from my ear she was laughing so hard. Are you kidding me...my parents were empty nesters now yaaaay! No kids in the house, time to enjoy our life alone! That was the end of my guilt for leaving
I don't even know what he
I don't even know what he would say to that! I did tell him that I would prefer if he's planning to spend the day with her to make it another time so he would be foolish to completely disregard my words. I don't have to put up with shit from anybody particulary not from a 23 year old.
Yeah, they go to the movies
Yeah, they go to the movies and have lunch. I know he used to take them shopping but I'm hoping that has stopped now because it's outrageous for him to buy then clothes at their age. He knows this and we had an argument about it where I told him it was uneccesary for him to be doing this. I don't think he's cheating on me if that's what you meant but...I would have probably asked the same question jen! If he is...I would find out in due time and then it's his problem not mine, I have no children, not married...I can do whatever I want!
You know what, I knew that I
You know what, I knew that I had to be more understanding of the fact that he needed to spend some time with them and I actually have been a lot better and more accepting of that over the last several months even. I don't like to ask him where they were or any of that because SD's really are not a part of conversations for many reasons. However, I felt that they spent so much time together a few Sundays ago that there was either something wrong or something that just was not right if she insisted on having all of his time for another Sunday. My plan was to see what happened and then have a conversation with him should it have changed or he didn't keep his word with me. He actually did just as he said he would and kept me updated on what was going on so I didn't feel upset by it. He saw her for a couple hours and then came home and we enjoyed our evening together so luckily we didn't have to have an uncomfortable conversation. I think the marathon day he had with her a few weekends ago was because they hadn't seen each other in a while. I wanted to give him a chance this weekend to keep to his word before getting all upset with him before he even did anything. All is well on the home front...for now at least!
Or.....you could just mention
Or.....you could just mention that you're planning something really fun for the weekend, or just on the day he's with SD. Make sure it's something he would LOVE to do. Dangle it in front of him....and then mention that you're going with some friends because you KNOW how important his dates are with SD and you certainly don't want to interrupt their time. It might take more than one weekend, but eventually he'll grasp the concept that the world does NOT revolve around him.
I have NO problem making plans and letting DH know what I'm going to do. I also have no problem saying, I am going with the girls because I figured he'd be with SD24, and Lord knows we can't interrupt his time in Skankville! (BTW, it's really hard for him to hear his cell phone ring when his head is all the way up her a$$!)
Give him the benefit of the
Give him the benefit of the doubt but if he does it again . ream him but good. The twit is likely doing it just to spite you. Hopefully he knows you well enough to know it's not going to fly this time . .especially since he'll be gone next week. I hope he has more wisdom than that.
We're well aware of how some reasonable, intelligent, able bodied men become blithering jelly back idiots . . . when it comes to their little darling daughters.
Foxie's comment reminded me something I once said to DH - I told him "I think in some countries it's legal to marry your daughter, you should do some research." He looked at me like I was crazy but got my point. :sick:
The only girls that I can
The only girls that I can think of that would attempt or want to spend the entire Sunday with their dad ALONE are the daughters of divorce...No daughter of an intact marriage would think it was perfectly ok for their mom to sit on her behind all day Sunday so that she could spend all day with her daddy...this is just another BS crap these "kids" pull and they think there is nothing wrong with it. If her parents were married, it would NOT be happening...I'd tell him to take a hike...geez
iloveit, just wondering, I
iloveit, just wondering, I know you have never met his kids, is this something you are working towards? Or do they never want to meet you? If they never want to meet you, I don't think it's fair that they see him on the weekends, which is time away from you, unless you are also included. What do you think?
I know what this feels like. My BF's daughter wanted only daddy to help her move to her new home (which he completely furnished) and then she will ask him over now and then, just him but he rarely goes on a weekend.
let me know how you are going
Honestly, this used to upset
Honestly, this used to upset me and put tension between my SO and me but now...I have disengaged from it for the most part. I had to step away from it because it was bothering me so much and I was tired of worrying about these people who are strangers to me. His youngest daughter has expressed interest in me and what I do and has been asking more questions about me but a possible meeting...doubtful right now. She's in California until June now anyway so if it happened it would not be until after that. I got so sick of asking my SO about it and then eventually had no interest in them at all and asked if we could just not discuss them until I'm ready. Hey, they're not interested in hearing about me and they act like selfish brats, why do I give a crap about them? I have said it in not so many words to him before but now...I just do what I want in my life to make myself happy and that's pretty much the end of it.
Really he doesn't go off with his kids on the weekends and they are aware that he's with me all the time too. He has seen his oldest a couple of times over the last few weeks but aside from the one Sunday it hasn't been excessive. They don't call him all day everyday like they used to either. I am a little surprised if he even gets texts from them over the weekend now. He certainly does not have long conversations with them on the weekend either. So really, it has improved in that regard I suppose.
I don't know what will happen when we announce we're getting married or buying our first house together etc...I am kind of done caring about it but that's just because I had to protect myself.
CandyLou . .why did you BF
CandyLou . .why did you BF buy all the new furniture for his daughter's new house? If she's old enough to afford a house, I would think she'd also be able to afford the furniture or either save for it or purchase it piece by piece like most young adults (who don't have good credit or chose not to use credit).
Geez, must be nice.
Before BF and I moved in
Before BF and I moved in together four years ago, he had new furniture from his place and he decided he and I would start fresh and he gave her all his furniture, I warned him that SS won't be happy when he moves out. But she has actually gone and replaced a lot of it as it wasn't good enough!
I completely agree with you
I completely agree with you and wonder the same thing. I don't wonder because I'm worried about what they're doing but it just seems a little much. I thought that since it had been a month since they had seen each other at all that she needed more time than usual. I never asked what they were doing because I don't really want to know. Or maybe it's that I don't care...I'm not sure which it is at this point. I am the same way, I enjoy spending time with my parents but I went out to dinner with them last week after not having spent any time with them in forever and we were out for maybe 2 hours and then all went to our homes. I don't get it eiter...I think my parents would get sick of me after a couple of hours!
I don't know stepdown, I just
I don't know stepdown, I just turned 30 and I have never been that way, single or not! I knew a girl like that too it was probably a similar situation. I did find it rather odd though. It's Saturday night...why aren't you out on a date if you're single??? I would be!