So, SD20 lives with BM along with SD23. Until the house is sold it's all 3 of them living there which my SO has told me is a nightmare situation for the daughters. Just a little background first: SO left BM after 20+ years of marriage because he lost respect for her, because it was never a partnership and he was responsible for child rearing, household/domestic duties, AND working full time while she did NOTHING to contribute to the marriage. He maintained the home, you name it he fixed it. BM would get part-time jobs for a little while and then quit because she didn't like them and didn't feel like working. SO fell out of love with her more than 10 years ago but of course stayed for the kids. I guess there has been a lot of catfights in the house because BM is still upset over her pending divorce (we're working on 2 years for this divorce since she has dragged it out as much as possible to punish SO) and feels the need to update her kids on every little detail that includes how awful their father is for ever DARING to leave her etc. So supposedly SD20 got into a fight with BM not long ago and yelled at her saying, "Mom...your husband LEFT you, what does that tell you about yourself...do you really think dad is to blame for EVERYTHING that goes wrong in your life??" :jawdrop:

I am SHOCKED at this. Most of the time SD's defend their mother and feel sorry for her but I guess they are starting to see how lazy and entitled she really is. It's sad because she's never been a real mother to them. She missed occassions/holidays, family vacations, sports games...she's an absentee parent. She didn't even go with them as teenagers when they were afraid to go to the gynecologist by themselves. I'm really hoping this is the beginning of them recognizing that their mother played a much bigger role in the breakdown of the marriage instead of just blaming their father which is what they have done so far.